Men vs. Women: Brutally Honest Dating Advice on Sex, Situationships & Commitment

(: 00:00

So what you been up to? Let's talk about that.

(: 00:04

you really want to go there? You're just batting it. You want me to just say it,

(: 00:08

Yeah, I want you to say what do you have to say. It doesn't have to be about one particular topic. You can ease into it and say like, you know, you've been...

(: 00:16

Well, I've had a weird transition. I think with this move and everything going on. Just trying to figure shit out. You know what mean?

(: 00:24

It's a lot.

Life is tough right now. Let me tell you. Everything is just, I feel like every which way I turn, I get really annoyed with the high prices of stuff. This is totally off topic, but it's just been driving me nuts lately. And we do live in California, so it's expected to be higher, but it's outrageous. Yeah. And then you know, the one thing that I want to put on here that I am livin' about?

(: 00:29

That's fucking crazy.

It's stupid.

(: 00:53

And I'm sorry for you restaurant workers, but the extra 3 % or 5 % fee that is just tagged on every single check that you pay at bottom. You don't even know it's on there. Yeah, it's for technically to help with benefits, the health benefits for the employees so that they don't have to raise their prices.

(: 01:06

What's going on?

So we, the consumer, has to help the servers with their benefits and the employers who pay them, they're off the hook.

(: 01:28

Yeah, they add a 3 % or 5%. I think it's on average 3 % fee. It does state it on the check and it will say what it's for. And then it says, if you choose to not pay this, you're welcome to ask for it to be removed, which that annoys me because why am I now the bad guy? I don't own a restaurant. I don't know if you know this. I don't own a restaurant. They chose to own a restaurant, right? So now you're going to add that fee on there and they've already raised prices of everything. So it's like so expensive.

to go out and I literally say I've only done it once so far when the waiter came up and I'm like yeah we'll take her check and if you can go ahead and remove that extra fee that would be great and they go okay and they do and I'm just having to let myself not feel bad about it because it's out of hand.

(: 02:15

So do you think? Are we not going to go to restaurants any longer? Are we now going to have AI robots take over the servers? That way we don't feel guilty. Yeah, droid, take off the 5%.

(: 02:24

pay for their benefits.

Yeah, exactly. And how many benefits are we really paying for? Because a lot of those waiters are not working the hours to even get benefits, right? So I don't really know where that money's going. Plus, aren't they now not taxing on tips? So they're not taxing on tips. They get their full tips. And then we're paying an extra 3 % on top of tip, on top of the raise prices, on top of everything. My point being it's out of control. That's a good point. needs to stop.

(: 02:55

Well, I think we're in the midst of voting for a new governor, new mayor.

(: 03:00

new mayor, new governor, I would love that because I don't think they do it outside of California. I could be mistaken but my friends outside of the state did not know what I was talking about.

(: 03:09

It always seems like California is the guinea pig. We're always the leader when it comes to bullshit. But I'm hoping for change because this is the best state.

(: 03:14

Yes, I agree.

This is the best day. It's a beautiful place to live. It's just gotten... I just don't know how much longer you're doing it. It's hard. Yeah, have to. I mean, God, look at us. We just went from cocks and balls to politics like that.

(: 03:27

I'm with you. We'll get through it.

Exactly. Should we go back to cock and balls to make it more beneficial? It just sounds better. No, I'm with you on that. do believe that there is change that needs to happen. Yeah. And it has to happen in favor of the people and not by your political background.

(: 03:40

It just feels better.

Yes.

(: 03:56

Because I people like I'm gonna vote this way because this is my background. I get that However, you're not doing yourself any good. You're actually going against what you are in favor for that's a democracy Yes, so stay away from your bias and just try and find out ways of like how's this beneficial for all of us? Yes, because if it's beneficial for all of us, that means there's something good that's in the working

You've got a guy who wants to truly help you. You've got a gal who wants to help you, whatever it is. But really, really try and sit back and say, right, hold on, before I vote, because they're the same party, what are the pros and cons? Like literally, like write those down. Don't just vote because you feel like you're under the gun. Write those pros and cons down to figure out is this beneficial for all of us, not just for me, but for all of us.

(: 04:45

I love that. You know what I say to that? Vote for Shervin.

(: 04:50

That's why I'm officially running for mayor of Irvine. Would you ever get into politics?

(: 04:57

I think you're

No, I really don't like politics at all. really, don't even know why I start talking about it because I'm not a big politic talker. Politics and religion, I kind of try to stay away from both of those. Especially, I mean, I'm from Texas, so I have some feelings one way and some feelings another way. I'm kind of in the middle. So it's a very difficult spot to be in.

(: 05:20

I'm telling you though, you did put your spot in for mayor or senator or president, you'd probably be the hottest politician on the... Guys, wait. Where do I vote? Do I get anything in return? Do I get a prostate exam?

(: 05:26

Why it there?

(: 05:36

Hey, there are some women that love it. I'm like, fuck, do it. I just don't know if I can kiss you afterwards, but go for it.

(: 05:40

They do

Yeah. Don't do it. Don't do it.

(: 05:50

Or if you do do it, little Listerine.

(: 05:54

Little

mouthwash. Thera-breath has been a thing lately. Not being made for that either. I'm just saying I've seen a lot of people talking about thera-breath because it's supposed to be so much more potent than Listerine or thera-breath. It's like powerful like supposed to like keep your breath for like 72 hours.

(: 06:10

Therabreath.

72 hours so eat all the ass you want for 72 hours and still have minty fresh breath

(: 06:25

of

feeling fresh.

(: 06:28

Honey, how was that? ⁓ so good. Your breath is fucking amazing. Yes. yeah.

(: 06:35

See? This is a plug for Therabreath That's where they need to go with this.

I know that's why we get along.

(: 06:42

I am kind of bummed though, this is off the record, I'm kind of bummed because my girlfriend she does not like it when I stick my finger up her butt Yeah. She's a nice ass. I told her.

(: 06:49

Wow. Well, have you told her that?

She doesn't like it. you didn't like it either.

(: 06:57

Yeah, I don't mind it. So if they look underneath the ball sack like the little... The taint Exactly, thank you. Yeah.

(: 07:05

You

said it was like the coffee table, the in between the two. It's like the coffee table, the conversation piece, right?

(: 07:15

We should make a coffee table about that. should make. Cock, balls, taint, boobs and ass.

(: 07:20

That's

like a coffee table book. It would be. are on to something.

(: 07:24

It's

one of those like, I like that. It's not about like Martha Stewart's Vineyard or you know, baseball classic. Cock, balls, tits, ass,

(: 07:34

Well, it's funny because it could be called the coffee table book and so people think they're getting just something, you know, like a Seinfeld show about really nothing. Yeah, but then it's all about the good stuff. Absolutely.

(: 07:48

We should have a class about that. How to properly make that other person feel amazing.

(: 07:53

well see you mentioned a couple of words you said my girlfriend. Can we chat about that a little bit? Do you No I want to. It's so fun. Do it. So, okay, so month and a half-ish.

(: 08:02

If you want.

A month and a half. Yeah. So, I met her on TikTok. We've actually been speaking for about a year. But not like heavy trying to to date each other. It was just small talk, like friends. And then just a month and a half ago, she happened to resurface and say, hey, I haven't talked in a long time. Do you ever want to go grab a drink?

(: 08:13

meter.

and you're.

(: 08:33

And I said, well, as a matter of fact, I would, I'm moving right now. And she's like, can I come help you? More likely it was like, can I, would you like any help? And I said, you know what? Fuck yes, I do. So she came and helped me. And this is when we had that crazy storm. I don't if you remember. It was a good three to four days of rain, solid rain. She came and helped me in the rain, moving stuff back and forth three times, mind you.

(: 08:58

That's nice. So she lives rather close.

(: 09:01

Newport Beach. Yeah.

she still came out and helped. Wow. And then my first time seeing her, it was great. was like, yeah, attracted. Yeah, she's not a big drinker. Okay. Depth, very different from what I like. And that's fine. Doesn't have drama. Doesn't care for it. She's Mormon.

(: 09:05

That's awesome. Was this your first time like seeing her in person? And how was that? It's cute. Okay. I like that.

I like that.

don't know,

(: 09:31

But she is fucking heavy and bad. She loves this.

(: 09:34

Really? She's

good on that. That's awesome. That's a plus. Can you sustain that? Yeah. He's like, hell yeah, I can.

(: 09:40

Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

Yeah, I do a pretty good ⁓ job.

Can she sustain me? That's the question. Yeah.

(: 09:51

That's really the question I was asking.

Yeah, I like this. This is good. So she's already your girlfriend, like you're using the label.

(: 09:59

Yeah.

I said, you know what? I like you. I want to know, do you want to be my girlfriend? I just didn't want to play games. And then I stuck my cock in her ass.

(: 10:03

Mm.

You said it like that? like this, okay.

All my girlfriends like it like this. That's awesome. Well, congrats.

(: 10:19

my gosh.

Congrats to both of us.

I like that.

(: 10:25

And

I

(: 10:26

can take this out if you want, or if you want, say fuck it, we can just let it ride. Pretty much, who gives a shit anymore, right? Do like, eat dinner and say, my god, did you hear that podcast with Shervin and Andrea? They talk about eating ass. Speaking of eating ass.

(: 10:29

⁓

No one's going to.

We want

them to say that actually. We want them to be sitting at dinner and go, did you hear that podcast with Andrea and Shervin? They were talking about eating ass.

(: 10:46

When you think about that, when was the last time anyone, as a couple or married couple, ever had dinner together and just said, fuck this, throw the plates off the table and throw each other on that table and just start fucking like crazy? Right? You don't... We should bring that...

(: 11:00

Yeah, you don't see that anymore. We should bring

that back. I like that passion. Yeah. I do. I like that stuff.

(: 11:06

Ripping each other's clothes off. Yes. more.

(: 11:08

like hot, right? Yeah, I think we're missing out. We're all worried about, you know, what we look like, what's sagging, what's not.

(: 11:17

I'm done with this. know, let's just fuck it. Let's just... Rip the bandaid off, for goodness sake here.

(: 11:19

This is too-

Have you found any interesting X with your girlfriend yet?

(: 11:28

No, not yet. Not yet. Sure will.

(: 11:30

Do you think that you

don't because you're like, you know, when you have like feelings and you see them with different glasses on and then do you think those come later? I don't know.

(: 11:40

I think it may, because it's still fairly fresh. a month and a half. But there's no room for me to judge and expect it. Alright, I'm waiting for that ick. Yeah. I don't want to do that. That's not fair. Just let it ride.

(: 11:44

Yeah.

No.

Yeah. You know what we do, which is really fun. I like to tell this story. So have you seen the show? Nobody wants this.

(: 12:00

No.

You're like, there it goes.

(: 12:06

You need to it's great. It's great and it actually is it with it's with Kristen Bell and Adam Brody He's a rabbi She's a sex podcaster, but you know what that's why probably I'm like going with it. It's actually a well-written show it's very entertaining. It really is it really is you should watch the first season and then we can have

(: 12:13

⁓ is it that?

I

saw the first two episodes like this is stupid. It's too predictable.

(: 12:31

well then you won't like

it. is a little predictable and they're dragging it out a little too long on whether they're gonna be together or not. But my whole point of bringing that up was there was a certain episode where her parents were coming over and he was gonna meet them for the first time and he was freaking out and so he went like left and changed and came back and he had all these flowers like a massive thing of...

sunflowers for the mom and ⁓ she said something about being Italian and he was like I love Italian and he goes prego prego and that gave her the ick Kristen about she was like did he really just do that and give the ick so small yeah my point of bringing this up is we've implemented prego into my relationship with this guy

(: 13:12

ship.

(: 13:19

Now if either one of us come forward with some weird icky thing you might say or do and we're looking at each other and you know you feel that it we just go, and then we start laughing about it and it somehow takes the ick away. don't know why it just makes it all of a sudden like that parts forgotten, but we're letting each other know. Okay. That was real icky, but it just works. It's so fun.

It's a great idea. It's just little things. Yeah, little things that I think you find with your person that just, works and that might not work for you, but that works for us and it makes it.

(: 13:59

Yeah, but is there a point to where you're going to start finding more nuggets?

(: 14:02

No, we've actually found less which is interesting. I haven't said Prego in about two months. So that's that's really good Yeah, I think it because it took away that whole Ick thing that people worry about we just don't have it. I think we got him out of the way We acknowledged him with Prego Prego and now we're just No ick just ick, yeah

(: 14:23

Honey, no ick, just more dick.

No, actually. We

should never episode.

Yeah.

(: 14:34

So anyway, there's that little nugget.

(: 14:37

Maybe

I'll give it another shot, but I'll be honest with you. This is so fucking cheesy.

(: 14:42

Yeah, it has some cheesiness, but if you go into it knowing it and you just kind of go with that, then it helps and you just enjoy it. It's pretty well written. I will say that. think it's good.

(: 14:51

I meant nothing like the boys on Amazon. That's one of greatest shows ever. It's one of those like, fuck you, fuck the world, fuck everything. Let's just make a script that is so wrong that it's so right. These are superheroes that have gone bad and it's brilliant. Like that's amazing writing right there. It's hilarious.

(: 14:54

not seen that.

like a superhero?

Okay, well now that I know your sense of humor. Wow. Yeah. What about love on the spectrum?

(: 15:18

You have to watch the show though. It's incredible.

I've never seen that but everyone tells me I should.

(: 15:29

Oh my God, it's gonna make you see love differently. It really will, especially with us being in this niche of relationship and dating and stuff. Because they're so raw and honest. And you know, like they'll go on a date and then they finish and then he'll go, so would you like to see each other again? And then she'll just go, no, I think.

want to be friends. Like just straight up. There's no games and that's why I think I love it. They do not like they're not worried about like what they look like or that they're gonna say the wrong thing. They just say it and I love that.

(: 16:04

So are there times where you wish you were autistic?

(: 16:07

Is that I was going with that? I wish that I didn't care so much.

(: 16:14

I wish we all didn't care so much. Ick, prego, like leave that all out.

(: 16:18

Yes, exactly. I wish we just didn't care so much, but we do because everything is on TV, on a computer, on Instagram. Everything we do is like shown. so now we're trying to be all, you know, filtered and nice.

(: 16:33

I'm gravely concerned that people are going to keep finding icks in ways that are not perfect for them. Yep. And they will never find happiness. No. They'll never find their diamond in the rough.

(: 16:48

Totally. It's interesting, I was literally just talking to somebody about that earlier this week. And so this person, it was a guy, he's like 62, think, 62. Anyway, likes to date, not too young, but likes a woman that looks like in her 40s. Okay. So...

He matched, he was not doing well on the whole matching thing and you know, just more bots than real people for the most part. And then he actually matched with an attractive woman and she was cute. saw the picture of her, very cute, 62 years old also. So he went out on a first date with her.

And he liked her I mean you know great personality said she was really cute Barbie doll little physique like everything good but he can't get it out of his head that she's 62. I know he's like. There's the ick and so I was like are you can see her again and he's just like I mean I want to see her again but I don't know if I can get rid of the fact that she's 62 and I'm like what does she look 62 now.

(: 17:42

There's the ick.

(: 17:56

She doesn't look in her 40s. Well, why does she need to look in her 40s? You're fucking 62. Right? Yeah. Is she looking her 50s? Yeah. Okay. And she looks great with her clothes on, but he's worried about what she's going to look like with him off. Is she going to be, you know, wrinkly and stuff because she's 62. That's what I said. I go, well, how do you look naked? So we got to think about that.

(: 18:10

Buddy the same about you

Yeah,

think a lot of these cats were older. They don't look good on the...

(: 18:18

No,

they do not and they're expecting a lot from those women. Yeah. Fair. That is unfair. So I'll be interested to see if that goes further because you know, I'm going to say, yeah, I don't know that he'll be able to shake that. He won't. It's always going to be there. Interesting. Yeah, they do.

(: 18:22

That's on

Christmas.

No, he won't.

Men want the tightness.

It's a display case. They want to walk around. It's not the man being in relationship with the woman. It's man being in relationship with the whole outside world. It's for them to say, look what I got. You like that? You accept me, right? Am I now part of the group? Because now I got a hot...

(: 18:57

girlfriend. Yeah. But he said she was attractive so... Still bothering him. Yeah. Because he's probably gonna say well she's attractive for 62

(: 19:00

Yeah, but age is still bothering.

But I'll tell you this, the older women, I've said this many times, the older women, they got it going on. They do. Because they're fucking horny as all hell. They take care of themselves. Yes. Yeah, and they have no drama.

(: 19:11

Take care of them.

Yeah, that's all right. And they're not worried about social media like the younger ones are. not. Yeah. Wait, how old's your girlfriend? Oh, cougar So she's 62. No, just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding.

(: 19:23

Exactly.

One year older than I am. Yeah. I know.

Fuck you.

⁓ Alright, should we play? Alright, let's play. Because we can talk for hours and never get out bed. It's always fun with you. It is so It's really good to see you. It's good to see you. Like I missed you. Like I missed my friend.

(: 19:44

We should play.

I know, I never get anywhere.

It has been a while. I went through a tough, my mom passed away.

(: 19:59

No, I'm so sorry.

(: 20:01

And that was really tough. So I dealt with that and then I was doing my own show for From Mrs to Ms and I was like, I couldn't get into it. I kept pushing it and I've never, I've had it for almost three years, I've never missed a week. Never taken a hiatus. I took a three month hiatus and I just got back into it. It just didn't, I didn't feel connected somehow.

(: 20:26

If you're

not feeling it and you have every right to not feel it because you went through a big turmoil in your life. you're doing okay now though.

(: 20:32

Yeah,

it's just a lot. I have two disabled siblings, so it's a lot on me.

(: 20:41

Are you taking time for yourself?

(: 20:44

Well, I try to in the fact that I don't live in the same state as them, so I feel like I get, yeah, they're in a different state. So I do get a little time to myself, but it is overload when I have to do it. And I'm just like, mom, why? But she was 90, she had a beautiful life, beautiful woman. So it was hard. Faye. Faye. Jamaican, she's Jamaican.

(: 21:07

Yeah, God bless. What's her name?

Hey, what took one?

(: 21:13

She is very, very smart. She's a little whip of a lady. People would say that. That's right. That's why I said that. Just sure you do.

(: 21:22

Well, I know where you get that from.

Well, let's dedicate this episode to Fay.

(: 21:29

⁓

I don't know that she'll agree with the cox and balls

(: 21:33

Hang on.

But this little segment. ⁓

(: 21:38

Let's dedicate this segment that we just talked about her to that. Let's do that. never listened to my stuff because she couldn't handle it. She can't handle it.

(: 21:46

Does she

have like a thick Jamaican accent?

(: 21:47

⁓ I didn't think so, my friends kind of did, you I don't hear it anymore. I don't think it was that thick, but she's 100 % Jamaican. So I'm shocked that, you know, she didn't, but people would like her to say things. She'd talk a little Patois sometimes, but that was about it. Yeah, cute lady. ⁓ She's doing, she'll do well up in heaven there. That's right.

(: 22:03

thank you. I love it.

It's probably a pool party right now.

(: 22:11

She's actually listening. This is probably first time she's listened. I don't need to hear this. That girl did not raise her right.

(: 22:16

I don't need to hear this

Alright, so here we go. So battle of the advice man versus... Alright, here we go. So, tell us how we play this. Alright.

(: 22:31

So here's the game.

We're going to give out some scenarios. It has to do with relationship and dating. And we're going to give our advice based on a man's perspective and a woman's perspective. We can agree. We may not agree. This could be a very polarizing discussion here. ⁓ But yeah, I think that it'll just be fun to kind of see like if you think the same way I do, or I think the same way you do and help the listeners out there that are struggling that maybe want to know what others think just besides one of us.

(: 23:00

Got it. Okay. So I tell you what, I'll start off first. right, here we go. All right. So scenario number one is he texts you every day, but won't make plans. You've been talking to a guy for three weeks. He texts you constantly flirts as well. And then he sends a good morning texts, but hasn't locked in a real date.

(: 23:02

Okay. That's okay. Yeah, exactly.

Mmm, what's the advice there? Okay, you were me go first. I'm gonna say he's wasting your time You know, I think that he's just he's kind of like getting a feel for it He's not really in the same spot as you're in and it depends. Okay, this is three weeks now You said a month and a half you guys are like in as girlfriend boyfriend Three weeks is kind of a long time if you are consistently texting and talking every single day He's doing the good morning text.

Yes, so I kind of think that He needs to be giving more to get a first date a first date after three weeks of talking texting I would have been out I'm not looking for a pen pal That's how I get on the dating sites if you just want to keep going back and forth and Texting on the dating sites and not making any effort to actually plan a date then I'm out I just think that's a waste of time. Yeah, you know, what do you think?

(: 24:13

I'm with you on that one. I'll tell you this, I don't speak for all men, if this were me, I would not have been doing this three weeks ago. I would have been engaged in this an hour after the conversation and saying, let's go grab a drink. Exactly. Skip the bullshit. And I'm sorry, women, but if you've been talking to this guy for three weeks and it's been all bark and no bite, that's your fault.

(: 24:25

You did that with me, just saying.

That's exactly right. You're not saying what you need to. Set your standards.

(: 24:38

Exactly. Set

your standards woman. Okay. Your turn.

(: 24:44

Okay,

you saw something you shouldn't have on his phone. Woohoo! I love this one. Okay, you weren't snooping, but a message popped up. It wasn't cheating, but it felt off.

Okay, so let's give this a timeframe here because that's a big key that we didn't really say in this little scenario. If it's newly in, like we're just, you know, maybe a couple months dating. That happens often. It might not be a message. You might see somebody calling that's like, ⁓ I know they've talked about that as somebody they don't want to talk to. Do you think that's like?

(: 25:20

I want to know what was it that they saw? Was it something?

(: 25:24

Well, let's try to say something. saw a text that came up that said, ⁓ Hey, I'll be in your area next week. I'd love to get together for a drink. What do you think? So many things. Yes.

(: 25:34

That can be so many things. It be an old friend.

It could be an old college friend. could be an old high school friend. It could be an old woman or man that you hooked up with. Yes. I get that. Yes. Now, if it were me and I received a text. So if I'm laying on the couch with my girl and I get a text from girl that says, hey, same situation. If she happens to say, who's that? I would explain to her.

(: 25:44

Yes.

(: 25:59

Yeah, okay. This is a girl that I used to hook up with or dated and she's back in town now It's wrong for me to engage that yeah, I'd love to see you. Yeah, that is Exactly, but when you explain it to the person you're with let them know This is someone that I used to date or someone that I used to hook up with. Mm-hmm. Obviously, I'm not gonna respond Or you could respond say thank you. I'm in a relationship. I wish you nothing but the best

(: 26:11

That's where it goes wrong.

Yes.

I

that's smart. I think that's smart. I have two little scenarios for you on this one. do it. One that just happened to me actually last week. I randomly got a message from a guy that I dated a couple years ago. And we'd gone out a few times. He was shorter than me So it just didn't work. And he just kind of messaged, Hey Andrea, I was just you know thinking about you the other day. Wanted to see what you were up to. Maybe we should get together.

And it came up when I was with my boyfriend. And so I immediately went, that's weird. I play it like that. like that's weird. This guy just said this. And then I tell him the whole story about how he was too short, our limbs were off and everything like that.

(: 27:07

Which limb?

(: 27:11

my goodness. And so, ⁓ you know, but I felt like I should explain that, say something. I didn't even respond to be honest, because I don't feel like after a couple of years, you're just gonna roll in again and just say that that's just you in, in the middle of dating other people and you're lonely and you just want to reach out and go, who did I like at some point that was like Andrea, I didn't engage in that.

(: 27:34

I

that and you did everything right. However though, think about it this way. This guy reached out to you, you have a boyfriend. Let him off nicely because I hate it when people ignore you because we all know that you got my text. don't be an ass. Not saying you but just people.

(: 27:53

I

I think he just disappeared. I do think that happened. think we've gone out like initially I think once or twice and I was like on the fence truly because of the height thing that's just a thing for me and then but everything else was great like sitting at the bar major chemistry like hitting it off until we stood up and then I'm like so then we went out another time when it came around we just happened to be chatting and like hey let's meet up again so we did it again and then he just I think after a couple

I just didn't hear from him again. So him coming back a third time, that's like...

(: 28:30

Well with that scenario then yeah, you did everything right. ⁓ Yeah

(: 28:34

So that was good. what if you're in the shower and the phone pops up with that same message and she sees it? What's your advice on, should she say something to him or should she not just let it go?

So I saw, yeah, so I happened to see a message pop up on your phone, da da.

(: 28:54

First off, don't be combative Don't get all defensive, well, why are we looking through my phone? It's your fault for having to phone out like that. Secondly, if you're not guilty of anything, then you should act like you're not guilty of anything. Say, well, I'll explain to you. So if you are fighting fire with fire, you're doomed. But if you happen to say, well.

(: 29:01

That's true.

(: 29:15

Let me just tell you about her. Or let me tell you about him. That way the air is clear ⁓ and there's no one being defensive and no one's getting jealous. Like you should be with that person because they're confident in their own skin. Right. Right. Because if I'm with you, I'm with you and vice versa. But if you get a text like that, like, honey, I happen to see this text in the shower. I'm not going to interfere, but I just happened to see it. Can you explain that? Of course I can explain that.

(: 29:43

So it's communication. Yeah. Yeah.

(: 29:44

That's all it takes. Yes. But the moment that you start getting defensive, then she's got every freaking right to start saying, all right, well, what else are you hiding, motherfucker?

(: 29:54

That's right. Leads to other stuff, but they don't say anything. You don't need to play games. You don't need to wait and see if he says something to you. Simple.

(: 30:01

Yeah, we're fucking adults. Yeah, ick like an So easy.

Scenario number three. I didn't want to sleep with him yet, but I did.

You've been dating a guy for about a month. You told yourself going in that you want to take things slow this time, not rush intimately, and then not get attached too quickly, but the chemistry is strong. The connection feels real, and one night you sleep with him. Oh, and then at first everything seems fine, but within a few days his energy shifts.

(: 30:33

There's a little more on the band.

(: 30:42

Less texting, less effort feels like you pulled back.

(: 30:46

Okay,

my perspective, didn't change his feelings. This is who he is all along.

That's what I think. I don't think that all of a sudden because you slept together that now he's like pulling back. I just think that's kind of how he is. He's kind of maybe the type that does that often. Maybe moves forward with people a little too quickly. That is a thing for guys more than girls to conquer that, right? To get them to have sex and then it's often too soon so they pull back or they got what they wanted.

(: 31:20

So you think this is more a notch on the belt in lieu of...

(: 31:23

Yeah, that's what it feels like in this scenario. think that it's kind of, you know, the chemistry has been strong and now they and she implied, I think in that scenario that she didn't want to. So maybe she kind of felt like she had to a little bit. Well, not okay. Let me rephrase that. She felt like it was leading in that direction. How long did she, did we say it was a month? Okay. So this is a

(: 31:38

You don't have to do any

pretty good amount of time.

I'll tell you this though, is if the chemistry is there and then the sex was not and he pulls back or she pulls back, there's your answer.

(: 32:04

There's

your answer. Yeah. So you don't think the sex changes things. think... Yeah, it makes it like different. So I guess that would go along with what I'm saying. If it's that way first, he's pulling back and the sex isn't there. That's who he is, right? That's just who he is. And then I don't think it's because now all of a sudden you had sex that it's changing who he is, is my point.

(: 32:08

I it does.

don't know though, because sex can change you, not for the worst, it can make you re-evaluate if you want to move forward this way. Because I've had some amazing conversations with women, great kissing, great chemistry, and then once we get in the bedroom, I'm this is not what I said. Because I'd be fooling myself if I was happy. So what do do? You just gotta cut the umbilical cord.

(: 32:32

Like if it wasn't good?

Yeah.

Because I do think, I mean, we could do the whole if he wanted to, he would, which is so cliche, but if he had, if you guys had sex and it was everything he hoped and dreamed it would be, and he felt this connection and things to go forward, he wouldn't be pulling back.

(: 33:04

Sounds like a woman

though. That sounds like a woman fantasizing about that. Men don't. We're just like, let's just fucking get down to business.

(: 33:11

Really? Yeah.

Interesting. So is this him on his way out? Is that what he's doing? He's phasing out the soft ghosting.

(: 33:20

I

just don't think the sex was that great. Seriously.

(: 33:23

⁓

this poor lady in this scenario, I mean. So we're making her bat in sex.

(: 33:30

But let's be honest though, if it weren't then we wouldn't be having

(: 33:34

This

conversation, if it was off the charts, great. If it was heavy, like you said, that's what made you go, ⁓ I want a relationship with her. Not only is she fun to hang around with, she comes and helps me out with myself. Great conversation. But the sex now was great too. So that's why you're moving forward.

(: 33:53

But I

will tell you this though there have been some women I've dated in the past sex has been nothing but phenomenal But there's been something missing outside of the bedroom so that can happen

(: 34:03

What

do do then? Do you just stay for the sex?

(: 34:05

Then you become friends of benefits. ⁓ And then that's you become in that category that you shouldn't be categorized and she puts you in that category as well and she gets a little upset with herself because like now look what I did. And then she starts talking about you with her friends and this is my situation. Three months.

(: 34:07

Yes.

How long can a friend with benefits last? Talks? I overstayed my walk.

yeah, I did it for like, it was like six months.

(: 34:35

Yeah, if you're in a situation, ship three months as tops.

(: 34:38

Yeah, otherwise feelings start arising, expectations happen.

(: 34:42

I feelings already have, yeah. But

that feeling from lust to love can definitely change. Yeah. And that becomes a problem.

(: 34:53

Can you go from a situationship to a relationship with that same person? ⁓ and you can go the other way.

(: 35:00

That...

we'll see that often.

(: 35:02

Yes, because now you've had the feelings and then to take them away but still have the sex, that's hard.

(: 35:08

Because what does that tell you though? That makes you a very selfish person. Both of you guys. You guys were together. You guys had this amazing relationship together. Now you guys are like, let's just see each other part time and let's date other people. That makes you a polygamist.

(: 35:24

I was just gonna say no polyamorous.

(: 35:27

Anything poly is bullshit.

(: 35:30

Polygamist,

isn't that when you have multiple wives? Is that without...

(: 35:34

Ligamist,

polyamory, anything that deals with you having that person and having the whole world at the palm of your hand. Yeah. It's a very selfish approach. I don't care how many ways people say it's not, it is. Wow. That means that you're not worthy for me all the time. You're only worthy for me when I feel like You have a little bit of title. And I think that's wrong. And I feel like the women are

(: 35:56

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

(: 36:03

Again, I'm gonna point on the women because they're the ones that, well, it's okay. I'm okay with it. Yeah, because I'm okay with getting more men. Then what does that make you? Is that how you want to be perceived? Yeah, yeah. But is that how you want to be perceived knowing that like you have a relationship with the guy, but you still sleep around with other men? Yeah. Are really happy with that? There's something wrong with you mentally. There is.

(: 36:07

We allow it.

No.

And it's really fun to be in a relationship. I'm really enjoying it, to be honest. It's like, it's taken away the anxiety and like the worry and it's nice, but he's put himself in a great position with me where he's trustworthy and he doesn't make me wonder and he's so supportive and, you know, always answers his phone. You know what I mean? Like, I just don't worry. I feel like I'm the most healthiest I've ever been in a relationship with him, which is awesome.

(: 36:54

Yeah,

your nervous system is so calm now. You can sleep better at night.

(: 36:56

So good.

I can. I can and I enjoy nice to myself too. Like he'll go, you're really enjoying being by yourself tonight, aren't you? And it's not that I'm enjoying being away from him. I'm just good with it because we have such a great relationship together that when I'm on my own, it's nice. Yeah.

(: 37:13

Yeah, independent relationship freedom. ⁓

(: 37:17

Yeah, I used to think I just loved dating. I enjoy dating too, I will say that. It's fun, right? You to know people and the chemistry and the butterflies and all that good stuff if those are good. But yeah, it's nice to let that just settle. I like it.

(: 37:34

Yeah, I think dating is still a fun activity because it can turn into something amazing.

(: 37:41

know don't know what's going to come of it. Yeah, that's exciting. So we're plugging both dating and really

(: 37:48

Always in heart healing.

(: 37:50

Okay, alright, so our answer to that one, wait, does she like ditch him? From your perspective.

(: 38:00

No. She should stand her ground. Yeah. And say, right, what's your what's your thought on this? Where do you where do you stand on right now? Where do we where do we go from?

(: 38:11

See I like that. I think that she had, they've been intimate, they've been hanging out, he's done all these consistent things. I think she has the right to say, hey, you know, I just would like to know where we're at. Your communication has tapered off a little bit. I feel like you're not, you know, reaching out as much as, you know, where are you at with things?

(: 38:32

Yeah, you're hoping that there is an explanation coming. You're expecting that because like, dude, come on. Like, just be a man enough. tell me.

(: 38:35

Yeah.

So childish. Junior high. Bullshit.

(: 38:45

The men are acting like children.

(: 38:47

Alright, I got another one for you. Ready? Lay it on me. Okay. He's still acting single on social media. You've been dating for about a month. Things feel good. They feel consistent. It seems like it's heading towards something more. Oh, we're excited. But when you check his social media, he's still liking revealing photos, following a lot of new women and maybe even leaving flirty comments. When you bring it up, he says, eh, it's just Instagram. What's your thoughts on that?

(: 39:16

I'll tell you a lot about this because this is a very interesting one, by the way. It's the fact that when you're in relationship with someone and you start to eavesdrop on their social media, you become like an FBI agent trying to dissect why this clip.

is so important to this person when you should be with me and here you are in Mykonos partying with your friends and there's like girls around you. that really something you want? Knowing that you do have me but you don't show any pictures of me. You pictures of you with your friends and you doing things that are without me. However, it's just social media. You fucking can't.

(: 39:53

Mm.

Yeah. Who

cares, right? Yeah and I think also we need to remember that social media is not real life. It's like everybody is putting out what they want you to see, right? So it's hard to get worked up over that stuff, you know. I try not to bring my relationship into social media. I really try not to do that because I just for multiple reasons I just...

(: 40:02

And I

(: 40:26

I don't know, I don't think it needs to be on display. Number one, number two, I don't want these issues. I just say to him, Hey, listen, I'm on social media. I'm like, you know, doing stuff, whatever. It's just because I'm, you know, I have podcasts. I'm, I'm a

On air personality. This is what we need to do, right? To keep it going, keep it alive, bring in new people to listen to watch all of that stuff. But it needs to be kept separate. Do I think it's a little bit of a red flag that he's on there doing all that? Heck yeah, I do.

(: 40:58

Well the one thing

he mentioned is that he's following lots of new women. That's- that- and by the way-

(: 41:01

Who is that key word there?

(: 41:06

You can check my Instagram or you can check my TikTok. I never follow any of these women that are like these bikini, juvenile porn amateurs. Like I'm not going to fucking follow you. You guys that do that, you guys are fucking child. You guys are children. Like you guys, you guys are stupid. You guys are fucking dumb. Because I would, and again, I would just happen to look at, I'm not following, but I have to look at it because I'm like, what is it about a girl in a bikini pic that you haven't seen with all the other women?

bikini pics right following. It's the same thing. You go in the profile. It's them posting a different pose with different bikini pics and that's it. Nothing with them helping a child or helping the hunger or helping the homeless or helping other people. It's all about helping themselves and then guess what happens. They get so like fixated like a vulture because these guys are the only ones that are following them and what they keep doing. They keep liking and they keep liking and they keep posting more bikini pics.

yeah, it doesn't stop and men are weak when it comes to that. So guys don't be fucking weak These women are doing this on purpose for you to like them and follow them and they're just gonna keep it's like heroin They're gonna keep flocking this boob heroin that we're like, my god one day she'll take it off She's not gonna take it off. she does If not, it's gonna be only fans and you're even worse now because now you fucking went to only fan

(: 42:08

No.

Yeah.

And you're

paying for it.

(: 42:32

paying for it so you really are a fucking desperate dude

(: 42:36

Instead, look at what you've got, the person that you're with. Enjoy that.

(: 42:40

Exactly.

Or if you're not happy with her, let her go. But stay away from following these new women because they don't fucking care about you.

(: 42:51

No they don't. Total, total red flag. I don't like it.

(: 42:54

What, let me ask you this though, what if it were the other way around? If it was, yeah, let's say you got a guy you're dating and you post no pictures of him, but you're following these new guys who are bikini models or guys who are working out at the gym.

(: 42:58

Me doing it?

Same thing, he should be alarmed. He should see that as a red flag. Yeah. Yeah. And that also tells me I'm not that interested in him. Exactly. Because I would want my efforts and my attention to go to him. Right. So I'm the same as you. I don't think I follow anybody like that, if it is pretty old. But I don't follow anybody that's just like some hot guy or something like that. I'm looking for substance. Exactly. So yeah, I agree with you very much. We're on the same page on this one.

(: 43:39

It's a fucking childish world, Alright, scenario number five. So people say, is it scenario or scenario? I like it scenario.

(: 43:42

Last one

You know? Well,

I think it sounds good. It sounds like Sicario, right? Like badass. So say it with...

(: 43:58

⁓

I should talk like a mix. Scenario number five. Like that one? Yeah. All right. So he says he doesn't believe in marriage. Oof. You've been dating a man for a few months. He's consistent, emotionally available and treats you well. As conversations about the future come up, he tells you clearly that he doesn't believe in marriage and still wants a long-term committed relationship.

(: 44:02

that was good.

Hmm interesting. Ha there's a couple things there. First of all, if he shows you who he are and what he believes, believe him, right? Like that's kind of the first thing. If he says he's not looking for a committed relationship or that's just not who he is or to get married, don't continue on hoping you're going to change him.

That's my first thing I would say because he's already telling you how he is, right? And that happens a lot and then people do change them and then things go awry and then he ends up cheating or whatever and then he's like, I told you I didn't want to be committed in the first place. You didn't listen, you know? So listen.

(: 44:59

Now we're talking about those who have already been married before and hoping to get remarried again or for those who are younger Who want to get married and happen to see a guy who has marriage potential? Yeah, then now he brings this shit on

(: 45:11

Yeah, I think, okay, the second one there, the latter of the two where it's newer, it's a Maynoon, not been married before, and he's telling you he's not marriage material. And so I'm just saying, believe him when he says that, right? Because he's letting you know. For the other scenario, ⁓ we've been married before, you and I have both been married before. That's a good question. Would we want to get married again?

I think at this age now that we're older, we've already been married, we've done the whole family thing. I'm not looking to have kids, have a family. So to me it might be more of just, I don't need the label at this point. If the commitment is there and I feel really good and strong and healthy about our relationship, I don't need the marriage license. I don't need that. I might like it. I might like to get married, but that sounds really binding.

(: 46:07

I know,

(: 46:08

You know, and it was hard to get out of. You know, like when I think back to my marriage and then going through divorce, because I'm the one who wanted the divorce, that was torture, like having to tell him that I wanted to get out of the marriage, or the way I made him feel about that, and then going through all of the filing and the proceedings and the kids. It's just, it's hard, so be prepared.

(: 46:32

It sounds very unrealistic when you think about that today when people talk about the M word and everyone's like, wait, what? We just wanted a second date here. like you said, those who have been in relationship for a couple of years, women, I feel they're at a disadvantage because their clock is ticking. So marriage could equal having kids or no marriage can equal having kids as well.

I think it kind of latches on to making it more complete, you that I got married to have kids and didn't get in relationship with a person to not get married and have kids.

(: 47:09

Mm.

(: 47:10

So I there's a big difference. But I for women without a disadvantage, because I know they want to get married and they want to have that amazing night where they're sharing it with their friends and family. Because it's not a marriage between you and I, it's a marriage that is shared between all of us as a community. And I think that that actually brings a full circle that you know that you are going to have that night with that person to conceive a child.

(: 47:25

Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't be, but yeah.

(: 47:36

Isn't the point

though is you more likely want to get married to have

(: 47:40

To have kids, to do it the right way. Yeah, I think so. Well, some people just, they really truly feel that that piece of paper, it binds you and that you are like, this is it. But I think we've seen, that is not it. I mean, that's what it is, is a piece of paper and it's...

(: 48:00

I'll play that piece

of paper.

(: 48:02

It is. It is. And maybe back in the day, like years ago when our parents were doing it, yeah, it was binding. People were not getting divorced. But the divorce rate is pretty darn high these days. Yeah, it's pretty high. So I don't think that it's going to, if you're thinking of it to like save your relationship, like I want to get married because it's going to bind us and we're going to be together forever now, that's not a done deal.

(: 48:13

I think it's like 56%.

I wonder, like, do ever wonder when people get married, I get married to have kids and then I have kids to get divorced.

(: 48:36

I get married to have kids and you have kids so can get divorced? Interesting. Why would you want to have kids so you get divorced? They do.

(: 48:44

Because people see that a lot now.

People see that on social media, they hear from their friends. Here say about, it didn't work out after a couple years because they cheat on each other or they just didn't love each other because the kids, even though the poor kids play a really undeciding factor, and that's wrong. But I do feel like kids can make marriages really, really hard.

(: 49:02

Yeah. Yeah.

They can. They people stay way longer than they should have. They feel bad about it. And then I think that's worse because then the kids, they know kids are so intuitive. My kids knew. They knew when I was like pretty much at my end thing. And I recall my ex-husband saying, you know, to the kids when we told them, you know, hey, I think mommy's at like 95%. She doesn't want to continue in this marriage. And I remember my older son was probably, I think he was like maybe

at the time and he said, dad, I think she's at 100%. And I hadn't said that to him. So they're intuitive and they know, I think, when the jig is out. So I just don't think it does any service to stay in something longer than it needs to.

(: 49:57

You know what,

I would love to talk to you about this. We should definitely do another one where it's about why are you staying with that person? Why? And the other one should be why are you trying to get back with that person?

(: 50:05

Mm-hmm.

Yes. ⁓ yeah, good.

(: 50:14

Because

I have a friend of mine who is now trying get back with his wife after being separated. I understand the reason why. And I know, well, he loves her.

(: 50:24

Okay, does she love him? But then you gotta look at why they get divorced in the first place. So he thinks he's changed and he can go back and go into it a different way. Exactly. Is possible?

(: 50:27

I don't know.

Yeah, most of it stems from him. So it's...

Would she, would women take him back?

(: 50:45

I probably would.

(: 50:49

I'm terrible. Like, man, I miss his salad. I miss his butt. I mean, his cock-a-balls.

(: 50:56

Somehow we went full circle there.

(: 51:00

We always

gotta bring it back with ass and cock and dick and pussy and all that stuff.

(: 51:05

Why do the P words sound so much more aggressive than the rest? Vagina. Vagina. Vagina. Yeah, vajayjay. Vajayjay. That's soft.

(: 51:16

We should also do that, come up with clever names.

(: 51:20

And if you're in the secret club, you get to know it.

(: 51:26

I love talking about sex, I really do. I think it's such an important topic.

(: 51:32

It is. And it's, and we don't have any shame over it. mean, I did a whole episode on my menopause podcast about erectile dysfunction. Yeah, it was good. It was really good. It was a good topic. I enjoyed it very much.

(: 51:49

You gotta add me on the show, because I would like to know... I would actually like to share my insight about ED. You would? Because it's a very sensitive subject.

(: 51:59

Yes.

It is, no it is. actually I will say that there was a comment on the episode because it did really well and this guy, I know this guy, commented and said, I was excited to listen to this episode but seven minutes in I turned it, I checked out and he said you guys were being insensitive, giggling and chuckling and so I think your delivery was poor. Now I want to say on this

particular podcast Menopause Love Lounge. There's six women. We are all like pretty fully accredited. We're all in this, you know, area, this niche of some sort and we were having this conversation. In the first seven minutes, I'm doing the intro. I'm the host of it. I'm doing the intro. I'm funny. I'm funny. It's the only thing I'm fucking these days is funny.

So we were kind of, you know, play on words because I was like this is going to be hard to do and then you know we do the little no pun intended, right? You're talking about ED, we're trying to make it a sensitive topic a little bit lighter But then we go into our personal reflections, our experiences and our anecdotes and we actually talk about what we've experienced with that and it's not funny. It's not funny.

(: 53:20

⁓ It's

not. No is laughing when they're saying my shit don't work.

(: 53:24

So all I'm saying to the seven minute guy is you should have listened to the whole episode and then we can have that conversation. But you didn't give it a chance and then we went serious and actually talked about it. We were coming in in a light way.

(: 53:38

Yeah, that's the second thing we fear when we lose it is if my brain's not working and my penis is not working, why am I even here? Yeah, yeah. And that is the question that a lot of guys hate hearing is, is everything okay? No, you just made a 10 times more.

(: 53:45

and that's what she said.

Yeah.

It's like when you're really upset and you're already emotional and somebody goes, you okay? And then it makes you cry. It makes it worse.

(: 54:07

Because

the penis even though people say it doesn't have a mind of its own which is true because this is the overall Controller right this operates everything but in essence there is a little brain inside there saying ⁓ Do something please like charge my recharge my fuel rockets Yeah, because I need I need some help here if you want me to perform dude I need I need some Gatorade or it's a pickle juice or something Yeah

(: 54:35

Yeah,

and it's hard. Yeah.

(: 54:38

Because

we want to perform well. I think it's important for men to perform at their finest, especially in the bedroom. Because if not, what do we have to offer?

(: 54:45

Mm-hmm, agreed.

Yeah!

No, I can see that. And I think it's difficult from both perspectives because as a woman, know, especially as we get older and we're not as hot as we used to be, then it feels a little bit like they're not attracted to us. There's something missing why they're not getting hard, right? But if you have that conversation, again, we could label this episode communication because that is the most important thing. If you can talk about it with your partner and have a conversation,

and he can let you know what's going on and then you put it aside. Now we know, okay? So it's not about me and you're just struggling. She knows you're struggling. Can you then move forward in a way that it's not the elephant in the room?

(: 55:34

Let me ask you this, for those women who are older, right, because age is against them, they don't want to do Botox, they don't want to do facelifts, and that's fine. When it comes to their body, they're shamed by their body because they got scars from pregnancy, their boobs are not proportionate. Is there a way of putting lipstick on flamingo for these older women?

(: 55:53

Mm-hmm.

Well, it depends on what the guy looks like. mean, is he just...

(: 56:05

⁓

But that's the thing, we're not even talking about men, we're talking about for you. If you want to be still desired, are you willing to put in a little bit more of a, get a tune up? Because the car looks amazing, it's a fucking Ferrari. But we just want to make sure that it's still able to run like a Ferrari.

(: 56:27

Yes, I think it's important. I think it's very important to maintain your looks and as you get older I think that it's really difficult when a lot of women are getting older and they're like I'm just not attractive anymore You know, he's not into me, but they're not actually willing to do anything to keep up with that You know continuous some exercise taking your supplements not eating shitty food all the time You know getting good rest or human all of those things that we're supposed to be doing right which is hard to do and I admit I'm kind of the same because I like sure

(: 56:57

Creatures of bad habits.

(: 56:58

Yeah,

for sure, but...

If it comes down to it, like, especially if you go from dating to now you're in a relationship, that's where it can get real tricky. Cause you start getting fat and happy, right? Yeah. You're going out to eat, you're having drinks, you're watching TV, you're like just hanging out and you're not in the, and your nervous system is good. So you're not worried about all of that stuff. That's where you got to be careful. And I think it's important for women to keep up their appearance. You don't have to be like,

you know, totally like muscular and in tip top shape, but keep yourself trimmed nicely. You know, keep, keep the parts working.

(: 57:41

Okay, so make sure that the the grass is mowed and lawn and the trees are trimmed. The bushes are hedged. I'm okay with that. ⁓ I think we should do this. I think we should make this a monthly.

(: 57:47

That's right.

Or take the bushes out entirely.

Yeah.

I think this is great. I'm good for this. think that yeah, we can have some we can supply some good information. Let's supply it. Yeah Monthly. Yeah, we need to know where the listeners in on this. Do they want to hear from us monthly?

(: 58:17

They don't fucking care. They're

like, wait what? Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course we do.

(: 58:22

Of course

we do. I think they want to hear. I think we did good together. I think we good. Yeah. This is our second, third week. No, I was on yours. You were on mine. That's right. Now I'm on yours. Or we're kind of on both together. When we're going to do this monthly, we're both going to utilize it. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, I'm going to plug mine from Mrs. to Ms.

(: 58:27

We did. This is our second one together, right?

Please do.

(: 58:48

Just

need to make sure. ⁓ Yeah, it's good stuff. It's how you go from a missus to a miss. You got a lot to do there.

(: 58:50

Yeah.

Well, we got lots to uncover and unfold and unravel. So go get your cock and balls near.

(: 59:05

Should be a drink. Let's name a drink.

(: 59:10

Maybe next time, how about next month? Yeah. We'll come up with a cock and poll to drink on our own.

(: 59:14

We'll have like all the ingredients and everything we're gonna make like the perfect drink

(: 59:19

Yes, just make sure there's no hair in it. Alright.

(: 59:22

You

(: 59:29

This is good. Thanks for being here. Yeah. Thank you.

(: 59:29

That was great. Thanks for having me. Alright, see you next week. Bye!

(: 59:38

No, thanks for being with me tonight.

(: 59:41

My pleasure. Always.

No, you hang out.

(: 59:49

No, you hang up. Bye bye! Bye!