33,000 Dates Later: What Actually Works in Dating After 50? | Andrea McGinty

Andrea Knoche (: 00:00

Welcome back to from Mrs. to Miz. I'm really excited today because I have somebody here, not only with the same name as me, but someone very, very special. I'm excited she's here. And today we are gonna be talking with someone who has literally built a career around dating. We are gonna be talking all about that stuff. Now, Andrea McGuinty got into the dating business after her own heartbreak.

And she went on to find It's Just Lunch, I'm sure you all have heard of it, which grew to more than 100 locations worldwide. And since then, she's spent more than 30 years in the dating industry, helping facilitate over 33,000, yes, thousand dates and thousands of relationships and marriages, and now help singles navigate dating apps and modern dating, especially after 50. So with 33,000 dates worth of experience, I have a lot of questions for her today.

And since we both are named Andrea, this should be a lot of fun. Andrea, welcome to from Mrs. to Ms.

Andrea McGinty (: 01:00

Thank you, Andrea. It's nice to be here and it's so nice. I'm I'm never gonna forget your name.

Andrea Knoche (: 01:06

I know it's so easy. We were chatting before,

how nice it is just to have somebody with the old name. I don't have to worry about it. And we pronounce it the same way too, which is the right way, obviously. Right. No, this is too dramatic

Andrea McGinty (: 01:16

Right, right. It's not Andrea. No.

Andrea Knoche (: 01:21

for me. We're just Andrea. We got this. We got this. Well, I am super excited to jump into this with you because I know you have so much information and little nuggets and values to share with the listeners out there. And so we're gonna go through and just kind of we're gonna have a chat all about dating.

You tell me if I'm wrong on things that I think or you know, just from your basic experience. So the just we're just gonna have some fun today. So starting out, you actually got into this business after getting dumped right before your wedding. Is that correct? Ooh.

Andrea McGinty (: 01:50

That's right. It was it was just a few

days before the wedding.

Andrea Knoche (: 01:54

Uh-huh.

Andrea McGinty (: 01:55

we were getting married, and he called it off. And I you know, I was

Andrea Knoche (: 01:59

my goodness.

Andrea McGinty (: 02:00

shocked. I was l at that point, I was living in Chicago. I was in my

Andrea Knoche (: 02:03

Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 02:04

late 20s, and you know, I thought I kind of had it figured out, you know, gonna marry him. This is gonna be my life, and suddenly it wasn't, and

Andrea Knoche (: 02:13

It wasn't

Andrea McGinty (: 02:14

it wasn't, and you know, I thought.

Well, what what what happens? Your friends, they come to your rescue and

Andrea Knoche (: 02:22

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 02:22

they are trying to fix you up with people. And this is like the nineteen nineties. There's like there's there's

Andrea Knoche (: 02:26

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 02:30

no internet. And well, I guess suppose there isn't an internet, but there's no Google, there's no match dot com, there's no bumble, there's no

Andrea Knoche (: 02:34

No. Mm-mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 02:36

Tinder, there's no Hinge, there's nothing. And,

Andrea Knoche (: 02:39

Mm mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 02:40

you know, suddenly I was single and I was getting fixed up on dates, and I thought, you know.

These dinner dates, uh-uh, they're like two,

Andrea Knoche (: 02:49

Too much.

Andrea McGinty (: 02:50

three hours long. They're too much. And so that's how I came up with the entire idea for it's just lunch. I

was like, you know, wouldn't it be

Andrea Knoche (: 02:56

my god.

Andrea McGinty (: 02:57

great if there was like a place that was like an executive recruiter? Like you go,

Andrea Knoche (: 03:01

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 03:02

tell them what you're looking for, and then they're like, Okay, I've got somebody for you. You're gonna meet them at this restaurant, you're gonna go to lunch. Anyway, it blew up from there.

Andrea Knoche (: 03:11

my goodness.

Andrea McGinty (: 03:12

We started with Chicago and then

I guess 10 years later we had 110 locations globally. So it grew and grew and grew. And but I was always

Andrea Knoche (: 03:19

Wow And grew and grew that

Andrea McGinty (: 03:24

good at like fixing my friends up. I fixed up one of my friends in high school,

Andrea Knoche (: 03:29

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 03:29

and she's still married. And then two of my college suite mates, they're still married. I fixed them up. So

Andrea Knoche (: 03:35

Wow.

Andrea McGinty (: 03:36

when when I tell people I have like an accounting and finance degree, they're like, huh? What? I've never used it. I've never everused it.

Andrea Knoche (: 03:40

Huh? Well, used it to

add up to your 33,000 dates. So that was really with your your accounting and your

Andrea McGinty (: 03:47

Right, right.

Andrea Knoche (: 03:48

math skills. So I have some questions for you. Okay, so I'm gonna go back just a little bit to what you said about how you know, after heartbreak, all of this started because that's what I talk about here a lot is how to find yourself again and get back into life after divorce, tragedy, heartbreak. So you experienced heartbreak. Now we're how long were you with this guy before this, before you were getting married?

Andrea McGinty (: 04:10

Two years. And

Andrea Knoche (: 04:11

Two years. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 04:13

and we l lived together for six six of the months, so you would have thought you would have thought, you know, it was going somewhere. You would have thought.

Andrea Knoche (: 04:18

Huh. Yes, you would have thought. Yes, yes.

So was this a big wedding that you had planned and everything was like ready to go? And then all of a sudden just bomb.

Andrea McGinty (: 04:31

Everything was ready to go. I mean

Andrea Knoche (: 04:33

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 04:33

it w it wasn't like right at the altar where he didn't show up, but it was it was just a few days before. So it was it yeah, it was

Andrea Knoche (: 04:37

Yeah, yeah. my god, did you a favor I guess?

Andrea McGinty (: 04:44

yeah, it was pretty, you know, traumatic. you know,

Andrea Knoche (: 04:47

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 04:47

I mean I I spent, you know, a couple of weeks just crying, of course. You know, I mean, you know, I I didn't just

Andrea Knoche (: 04:51

Yeah, of course, of course.

Andrea McGinty (: 04:53

pop up with an idea, you know, like, great, I've got an idea. No. It it it came from, you know,

I don't know, what do they say? Like a door closes, a window opens, you know, that kind that kind of thing. But it

Andrea Knoche (: 05:02

Yes, yes. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 05:06

really came from my my best friend, Elise. She was an attorney at a law firm. So I think she fixed me up with anybody at her law firm right after, you know, like a month or two later. And like, you know, I'm like five foot nine, almost five ten. And some of

Andrea Knoche (: 05:24

Me too, me too.

Andrea McGinty (: 05:25

these, okay, some of these men, they would be like,

five, six. And not that there's anything wrong with that, but I would feel like an Amazon. Like I felt like this this big giant, you know. And I was like, Elise, what are you doing? You know, with these these these men. And I

Andrea Knoche (: 05:40

Yes, yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 05:42

and and I think that's what, you know, once I once I started getting back out there and thinking about, you know, there's gotta be a better way. There's gotta

be a better way to meet

Andrea Knoche (: 05:52

Yeah,

Andrea McGinty (: 05:53

people.

Andrea Knoche (: 05:54

for sure. Well, that's interesting. because we I've said so many times just what you said, like one door opens and then a window or another door, I'm sorry, one door closes and a window or another door opens for you. And how cool that is that you turned lemons into lemonade. You just kind of spun it around and it didn't happen immediately. And I always say that to kind of just sit in the grief and really, you know, deal with what's going on because you have to.

face the situation, you deal with it, you take the grief, you cry, you eat your chocolates, you watch your sad movies, and then you get right back up there because you're worth so much more than that, right? Than just sitting there and letting him get the last word on that. So I love that you did that.

Andrea McGinty (: 06:37

And you know what, I I know I got the last word in because I know

Andrea Knoche (: 06:40

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 06:41

for a fact that all of his friends, whenever, you know, it's just lunch would have any, you know, PR or anything, they would send

Andrea Knoche (: 06:48

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 06:48

it to him and he would be like, I'm I'm sure he was like embarrassed because I I told the story because that that is my story, you know.

Andrea Knoche (: 06:52

I'm I'm sure. Yes. As you

should, as you should. And I also wanted to touch on, so yeah, I'm five nine as well. And I have the same issues. And so funny, I've literally said I felt like an Amazon woman with a man that is shorter. And I think it's just not trying to say that we're these big women. It's just when you're a little bit taller, you just have that little bit of thing that's off. Your limbs don't quite match up.

You know, everything just feels a little bit off. And I've taken a lot of flack over the years on this because I've said it many times that I've only dated men that are taller than me because I feel more feminine. I feel, you know, like they've kind of got me, like they are the man and they got me. It's just a different feeling. And I truly don't think that shorter people, shorter women can understand.

That same kind of feeling, I got a lot of flack, like, men are men and they're all just because they're short doesn't mean they can't protect you. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying my preference. Right? Is that how you kind of see it? Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 07:56

Right, right. It's

you know, it's a preference just like anything else. And there

Andrea Knoche (: 07:59

Anything else?

Andrea McGinty (: 08:00

was there's that whole awkwardness, like if you were dancing or kissing, like standing up and kissing, it's like, like you're like this. talk about not feeling feminine, right?

Andrea Knoche (: 08:06

It's awkward. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's

a thing. I'm with you. I'm with you on that. Okay, so you've been dating for more than or you've been in the dating world for more than 30 years. So what have you seen has changed probably the most in the way we date? Like has something just been so obviously different for you that you've seen?

Andrea McGinty (: 08:33

it's you know, what I saw happen was because I was there in the nineties when there was nothing online. I mean,

Andrea Knoche (: 08:39

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 08:40

there it it just didn't exist. And then

Andrea Knoche (: 08:42

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 08:43

the advent of, you know, online dating came and online dating, of course, at first was just, you know, a mess, right? Because

Andrea Knoche (: 08:51

Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 08:51

everyone was, you know, match.com and you know and Tinder and they were just like all trying to figure it out. And there

were like

Andrea Knoche (: 08:57

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 08:57

these horror stories, like that I don't even know if you remember far enough back when there was like

but I'm like, hey, that's so: 2010

Andrea Knoche (: 09:11

Yeah, we're out of that.

Andrea McGinty (: 09:13

doesn't really happen anymore. Okay. We're we're a lot more savvy now. So the

Andrea Knoche (: 09:15

Yeah. We are.

Andrea McGinty (: 09:18

biggest thing that I see is, and especially for women, like especially second time around daters, like so maybe

Andrea Knoche (: 09:25

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 09:26

you were married and got divorced and you're 45 or 50.

You have so many opportunities now that you wouldn't have had 25 years ago

Andrea Knoche (: 09:35

Agreed.

Andrea McGinty (: 09:36

because of online. And when you when you even look at statistics, and the and the latest ones are from like 2024, 2025, one out of three marriages are from online dating. So I mean it's huge what what I see.

Andrea Knoche (: 09:49

Huge.

Andrea McGinty (: 09:50

And there's good men out there. So when I hear women say, and I they say it to me all the time, there's no good men online, Andrea. There's no good

Andrea Knoche (: 09:57

Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 09:58

But then the men, I have male clients too, and they're like, you know, Andrea, I think all the good women are married. I'm like, no, they're not. No, they're not no, they're not. You guys are

Andrea Knoche (: 10:04

my goodness. No, they're not.

Andrea McGinty (: 10:06

just going about it the wrong way. So the biggest change I've seen is we've got, we don't have to go to bars. We don't have to do anything. We just, it's at our fingertips. If we know what we're doing and we're doing it the right way, there's so many ways, so many opportunities

Andrea Knoche (: 10:22

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 10:24

to meet people. You know, I mean, there's online.

And there's over: 1400

Andrea Knoche (: 10:28

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 10:29

you know, dating platforms there. There's meeting, there's still meeting people in real life, which is

Andrea Knoche (: 10:35

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 10:35

something I do with my clients too. I I make them once a week. I pick a place they have to go alone. And yeah, this is really fun. So

Andrea Knoche (: 10:46

Peace.

Andrea McGinty (: 10:47

they can't go with a friend, they can't bring anyone

Andrea Knoche (: 10:49

Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 10:49

with them, and it can't be something they already do. They can't go.

Go play pickleball if they play pickleball. They can't

Andrea Knoche (: 10:54

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 10:54

do they can't go to trivia night. They can't do something

Andrea Knoche (: 10:56

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 10:57

easy. So I'll pick something and and of course it's fun and it's an upscale thing. And they have to go to the event and they have to talk to people and then they have to report back to me the next day and tell me what happened. And it generally takes people about three times, three weeks of doing that, and where they have a lot of confidence and going into these like situations

Andrea Knoche (: 11:18

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 11:19

and just meeting people blindly.

Like that. So there are ways when people say, you know, there's no way to meet in real life anymore. Yes, yes, there are ways to meet. There are. Yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 11:28

Yes, there are. There are.

my gosh, you have you gave me so many nuggets in there that I want to touch on. a couple of things is, you know, I've heard that too, where you know, the guys are like, there's no good women on these dating sites. And the men are the women are like, there's no good men on there. But we have to remember we're on there. Like the person that's telling you that is on there, and they're a good person. So there is evidence right there that there is good people, right, on these dating sites.

And

so I think we all just kind of get that into our head and it's almost an excuse for us at times. Like we can just go, Yeah, but I didn't hear from anybody today because there's no good men on there. Or you know what I'm saying? That kinda happens, I think. Where you can say something to that. Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 12:08

And they say and they'll say things like,

Well, nobody messages me back. And

Andrea Knoche (: 12:13

Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 12:13

I'll say, Well, what did you do? I like them. I go, What do you mean you like them? I sent a heart, a wink. I'm like, Okay. And what else did you write? I didn't write

Andrea Knoche (: 12:17

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

Andrea McGinty (: 12:25

anything. I'm like, Well, why does

Andrea Knoche (: 12:27

Well

Andrea McGinty (: 12:27

the ball have to get thrown in their court? Like, why couldn't you say something to them? Yeah, I mean, it's a two way street.

Andrea Knoche (: 12:30

Yes. Yes, exactly.

Andrea McGinty (: 12:34

And as women, we have just as much power.

Andrea Knoche (: 12:37

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 12:37

I was married for 24 years then and divorced and

Andrea Knoche (: 12:40

Okay. Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 12:43

got remarried three years ago. And I met him on match.com. You get a little plug there.

And but the thing I want to tell you about that, I so when I started dating again, and I didn't start dating right away after the divorce, it took me like four years of like, you know, just

Doing my own thing and continuing

Andrea Knoche (: 13:01

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 13:02

working with my clients. And plus, you know what? I had tweens at home and kids, you know, like I'm like, yeah, I was busy. And I didn't

Andrea Knoche (: 13:06

so you are busy. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 13:09

want to bring, you know, men around. But the but what what what I was gonna say about that was that once I was ready to date, the first my my first week, I went on five dates. Every single one of the men that I went out with that week, I reached out to first. And

Andrea Knoche (: 13:25

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 13:28

so I didn't d don't

Wait. and the men

Andrea Knoche (: 13:30

Don't wait.

Andrea McGinty (: 13:31

love it when you reach out because otherwise they feel like, really? I have to do all the work? This is twenty twenty six. I mean, no, no.

Andrea Knoche (: 13:37

Yeah. I know. I

know. And I still, you know, I say this all the time. I love chivalry. I love when a man is a man

Andrea McGinty (: 13:47

Yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 13:47

and he does all of the chivalrous things, right? But I'm the same. I do not have an issue with reaching out to a man first. I think that it's the reciprocity that moves it along. It makes you feel, you know, you want them to feel something too. They want to feel needed. They want to feel wanted. And when you're reaching out,

You know, it just feels a little nicer to them than them always doing all the work. Now I still let them open the door and you know, put me on the inside sidewalk, usually pay the check, you know, all of those things, which

Andrea McGinty (: 14:17

Right.

Andrea Knoche (: 14:17

are lovely and so, so, you know, just wonderful for a man to do. But I totally agree with you that there's so many other ways and things that we could be doing, which is why Bumble started, right? When she Whitney started Bumble to kind of get that going and and let the women have the first say.

Really? Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 14:36

Right. Yeah, that's I mean that's

initi that's initially how it started, but you know, now they changed it. Now it's equal. So the men can reach out first, the

Andrea Knoche (: 14:41

Yeah Yes, I

Andrea McGinty (: 14:44

women can reach out first. So

it's no longer bubble as we knew it.

Andrea Knoche (: 14:46

I noticed that.

Yeah, it's very interesting because I was on there not too long ago. I actually met the person I'm seeing now on Bumble. And the say, you know, I guess they can do like a prompt or something that it's kind of their way of reaching first, but then you acknowledge the prompt, but you're kinda it's you kind of still feel like you are a little bit, but

Andrea McGinty (: 15:08

Right.

Andrea Knoche (: 15:08

not. Yeah, she did a great job on doing that. But I want to talk about, first of all,

just lunch and then we'll talk about 33,000 dates. it's not a dating app. It's more of a matchmaker.

Andrea McGinty (: 15:20

I mentioned it grew and grew and

Andrea Knoche (: 15:22

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 15:22

we it it grew astrona astronomically. And

Andrea Knoche (: 15:26

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 15:27

I sold it to private equity because and one of the reasons I sold it was I started seeing the writing on the wall that well I think matchmaking's great,

Andrea Knoche (: 15:36

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 15:37

also I saw what was going on in the online world and what

what people needed help with and where I thought I could really make a difference. And

Andrea Knoche (: 15:43

Yes. Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 15:47

there plus there were so many more people going online than going to the matchmakers. So I thought,

Andrea Knoche (: 15:54

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 15:55

wow, this is an opportunity. And I plus I understood it, you know, how how to work work it and how how to work with it. And

Andrea Knoche (: 15:58

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 16:03

that as long as you were, you know, making the move and not

not turning it into where you're texting all the time or you're just talking

Andrea Knoche (: 16:12

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 16:13

on the phone, but you're actually meeting in real life, you know, it could

Andrea Knoche (: 16:16

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 16:17

it could be, it could be great. So

Andrea Knoche (: 16:19

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 16:20

now I like I like a combination. I like matchmaking, I like online dating, and then I like meeting in in real life. So

Andrea Knoche (: 16:27

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 16:28

if you've got the wherewithal and you decide, hey, I'm gonna jump in the dating scene and I'm gonna like really give it like 90 days, do all three. Do them all.

Andrea Knoche (: 16:36

Yeah. To all three.

Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 16:39

Yeah,

because if I mean, if you really want to meet somebody, if you're like, I want to meet my forever person, whether that means marriage or a long term relationship or whatever it means to you, if that's what you want, I would do all three of Yep.

Andrea Knoche (: 16:48

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm, great idea. So let's talk about the difference between the three of those. So, like with the matchmaking, it's a little bit pricier, right? Because there's usually a an upfront cost. Am I correct? And an upfront

Andrea McGinty (: 17:03

Yes.

Andrea Knoche (: 17:03

cost you're gonna pay. And that usually gets you a certain amount of matches or time, or how does how does that usually work in matchmaking? Just so we can understand the difference.

Andrea McGinty (: 17:10

Well,

matchmaking is and you know what I talk my book just came out last year and I talk a lot about

Andrea Knoche (: 17:17

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 17:18

the differences in ways to meet people. matchmaking, it's like this. I'm or I no, I should say it's like this. So it

Andrea Knoche (: 17:24

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 17:26

can be from the bottom where it's just a small local matchmaker and she has a pool of people. let's say we're in Chicago and she just has a small pool of maybe 200 people and she's matchmaking within that pool of people.

to a really high-end matchmaker. And and when we're talking high end matchmakers, we could be talking between 75 to 150,000 to hire a matchmaker. Yes. I know people are gonna be like, that's

Andrea Knoche (: 17:50

Wow. And what would that get you? yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 17:54

that would get well, it depends on the matchmaker. That will get you what what what the matchmaker should be doing for that amount of money is acting as an executive recruiter. So she

Andrea Knoche (: 18:05

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 18:05

is actually she's not working with a pool of people.

She would take, like, for example, you, Andrea, and she would say,

Andrea Knoche (: 18:12

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 18:12

Okay, I and you want to meet men, let's say, in in the Los Angeles area and maybe North Orange County. Okay, let's just say that's

Andrea Knoche (: 18:20

Yeah. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 18:22

where you want to meet people. she would be using her resources to locate men that after she's done like in-depth interviewing with you, and she

Andrea Knoche (: 18:31

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 18:32

probably has a recruiting team too, that she's reaching out to men.

directly and not men that are in any kind of dating service or matchmaking service. So she's looking exactly for what she thinks you're looking for. So that's what you're paying the big bucks for. Very, very tailored. and

Andrea Knoche (: 18:47

very tailored. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 18:51

then you can get into New York where it's even more expensive than that. mm-hmm.

Andrea Knoche (: 18:54

Really? my gosh. But

I would I would assume, well, the people that can afford that are probably very successful people, right? That are busy and working all the time and they don't have time to be sitting on the dating apps or going out on multiple dates. So they need, just as they would have an assistant do everything else for them, they need somebody to hand pick. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 19:13

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

You know what? They have the wherewithal to do it and they and it's something they really want. And you know, I have clients right now where I'll I'll do a little bit of matchmaking. I'll I'll take a few people a year, but not too much because it takes a lot of my time. so

Andrea Knoche (: 19:30

Okay. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 19:32

I really and if somebody that I'm working with wants a matchmaker, I'll refer them to somebody that I know is is really good.

Andrea Knoche (: 19:40

Yeah. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 19:40

But that that's like the range. So I mean the

low end you're probably paying two or three thousand. The the

Andrea Knoche (: 19:45

Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 19:46

high range it's even higher than what I said. I I just didn't want everyone to faint.

Andrea Knoche (: 19:48

Yes. And too late. And is that

get you when it's a high range like that, are you getting multiple opportunities like two you get matched up, it doesn't work out. How many opportunities on average would you get to meet somebody again?

Andrea McGinty (: 20:09

say

you're probably getting one or two dates a month one or two people a month

Andrea Knoche (: 20:12

Okay. Until you till you find somebody?

Andrea McGinty (: 20:16

generally it's for about a year no it's not forever it's not forever and ever no it doesn't it does not work

Andrea Knoche (: 20:17

That sounds okay. I really like you could go out of business on that one.

Andrea McGinty (: 20:24

like that so so that's you know so that that's that's one that's one way to meet people

Andrea Knoche (: 20:27

Okay. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 20:30

and and then the things I would say to people just be careful like really do your homework I've got a good video on my website where I talk about

questions to ask a matchmaker before you hire them. ask

Andrea Knoche (: 20:42

nice.

Andrea McGinty (: 20:43

a ask a lot of questions.

Andrea Knoche (: 20:45

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 20:45

because you should know f if you're gonna spend that kind of money, you know, you should you should know the answers or or call me. I know everybody that's in the matchmaking business. Because I I think a lot

Andrea Knoche (: 20:56

That's funny.

Andrea McGinty (: 20:57

of them came up through me through the It's just lunch system and then they, you know, went off on

Andrea Knoche (: 21:01

That's great.

Andrea McGinty (: 21:02

their own and they have they have matchmaking companies now. And they're then there's some really good people out there too doing matchmaking. Yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 21:06

Yeah. Patty Stanger,

was she before you? Millionaire matchmaker. Was she in there?

Andrea McGinty (: 21:13

she yeah,

she you know, she came she came from a different world. She came from like video video dating. Like there used to be video

Andrea Knoche (: 21:20

that's right.

Andrea McGinty (: 21:22

dating a long time ago. Like that was even before my time. the video dating thing.

Andrea Knoche (: 21:26

Yeah. That that makes sense.

Why? Cause she would always watch videos in the beginning of the guy kind of talking about himself and what he likes in a woman and all this stuff. So that makes sense. Yeah. That's interesting.

Andrea McGinty (: 21:37

Yeah, that was the video

era. There's no more of that anymore. Yeah, that's that's long gone.

Andrea Knoche (: 21:42

how things have

changed. Things have changed. Okay, so tell us about then 33,000 dates now. How did that come about after it's just lunch? And tell us all about how that one works.

Andrea McGinty (: 21:53

Okay, so 33,000 dates. So once I sold it's just lunch, I did I did take some time off and travel and hang out, you know, with my kids and stuff. but

Andrea Knoche (: 22:01

Yeah. Good for you.

Andrea McGinty (: 22:05

you know what, I I I love this business and I love I love what I what I do. And how it happened was a couple that we were very close to got divorced, and the husband called me and he said

How do I date? What do I do? I want to go online. I don't know what to do. And I said, Are you online? He said, Yes. So I said, give me your password and your login. Let me let me go look. So I go. Okay. And and again, this is a couple that was very close to us. I go in and I

Andrea Knoche (: 22:36

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 22:36

look and I'm like, here's this guy. He's a CFO. He's very successful. He's a really nice guy on top of it.

Andrea Knoche (: 22:42

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 22:43

And it was an amicable divorce. And you know, we all had

Andrea Knoche (: 22:45

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 22:45

stayed friends. So I didn't, I didn't feel funny helping him. I look at his photos.

And I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. He has a picture, you know, he has a picture without his shirt on. He's got a picture like in the car.

Andrea Knoche (: 22:58

no.

Andrea McGinty (: 22:59

He's got a picture I he's these photos. And I'm I'm thinking, it's like

Andrea Knoche (: 23:01

Was there a fish involved? If there's a fish involved, I can't.

Andrea McGinty (: 23:06

he he didn't quite have the fish, but he almost, you know, and and I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. And so I'm like, you know what? I'm redoing this. I go, send me these photos. And

He sent me a bunch of photos and I rewrote his profile and I just redid redid everything on it. And two weeks

Andrea Knoche (: 23:24

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 23:24

later he calls me and goes, Andrea, I'm getting really good dates, really good women. I'm like, surprise, surprise. I wonder why, you know, because you look like

Andrea Knoche (: 23:28

Nice Yes. Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 23:32

a normal man now and you look desirable. And yeah, and you got your shirt on. And I thought,

Andrea Knoche (: 23:35

You've got your shirt on.

Andrea McGinty (: 23:39

my gosh, there's people who need help. Plus, while I had been doing that for him, I was looking for women for him.

online too,

Andrea Knoche (: 23:46

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 23:46

you know, while while I was in with his credentials. And I'm looking at some of the women, I'm thinking, my gosh, are you kidding me? These are really bad pictures. I mean, they didn't have pictures like that, but they didn't have good photos. They didn't have good profiles.

Andrea Knoche (: 23:55

Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

Andrea McGinty (: 23:59

They didn't have interesting things. You know, people would say, I'm passionate about life and I'd like to meet someone. I'm like, well, that's really boring. Like I I hope

Andrea Knoche (: 24:07

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 24:08

everyone's passionate about life and wants to meet someone, you know. but they

Andrea Knoche (: 24:12

Right.

Andrea McGinty (: 24:12

would all say the same thing. And I thought, these people need help.

And

Andrea Knoche (: 24:16

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 24:17

that's how I started. And from that one from that one friend who had gotten divorced, he referred people to me. And then my brother started referring people to me. And before I knew it,

Andrea Knoche (: 24:28

Really?

Andrea McGinty (: 24:28

and then the old it's just lunch crowd started referring people, you know, my old clients there. And I you know, I love it because there's so many there's over 1400 online platforms, if you can believe that. And you've

Andrea Knoche (: 24:41

Yeah, I cannot. That's amazing.

Andrea McGinty (: 24:44

It's amazing and you've got to be careful that

Andrea Knoche (: 24:46

Crazy.

Andrea McGinty (: 24:46

you it's crazy, but you've got to pick the right one. So, you know, for where you are, if you told me

Andrea Knoche (: 24:52

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 24:53

you were gonna go do coffee meet spagel, I'd be like, No, there's nobody, nobody on it

Andrea Knoche (: 24:55

Mm-hmm. Don't mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 24:59

in in your area, you know, where you live. But if you were in New York City, there's so many people on Coffee Meet Spagel. Yeah, yeah. So it

Andrea Knoche (: 25:04

yeah, everybody. That's interesting. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 25:08

it's so dependent on where you live and your age too.

Andrea Knoche (: 25:12

Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 25:13

you know what what sites you belong on. So

Andrea Knoche (: 25:15

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 25:17

people didn't really realize that. And

Andrea Knoche (: 25:19

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 25:19

or they would just go on a site because their friend in Dallas, you know, was on Plenty of Fish. So they'd go

Andrea Knoche (: 25:25

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 25:26

on that one and I'd be like, Yeah, but in Palm Beach, Cal Palm Beach, Florida, nobody's on that site. Nobody's on that site. So you that's the wrong site for you. So so I started helping people consulting. So

Andrea Knoche (: 25:31

Nobody's on it. Mmm. Yeah. Huh. I didn't realise that. Yeah. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 25:40

I write people's profiles.

I write their prompts, I interview them with a Zoom call. You know, I really get to know them and 65% of them end up in relationships. So, you know, my my batting average is high. So it but I like to, you know, I really love doing it. It's it's fun

Andrea Knoche (: 25:51

Wow. Yes. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 25:57

and I can see the red flag so fast when I'm reading profiles

Andrea Knoche (: 26:01

Love that.

Andrea McGinty (: 26:02

online. You know, I'm like, okay, here's a man who only has two photos. Why? Uh-uh. No,

Andrea Knoche (: 26:07

Yeah,

Andrea McGinty (: 26:08

you're not going out with him. Why does he only have two photos? Mm-mm. No. Or

Andrea Knoche (: 26:11

Exactly.

Andrea McGinty (: 26:12

You know, somebody didn't write anything about themselves, but they have eight photos. No, they're not serious

Andrea Knoche (: 26:15

Yeah. No.

Andrea McGinty (: 26:17

about meeting somebody. So, you know, it's tea so I teach people how to do that. And online just has so many opportunities. And I show them also how to screen out like ninety percent of the men,

Andrea Knoche (: 26:32

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 26:34

because

We can get rid of ninety percent of the men pretty fast, you know, based on what what

Andrea Knoche (: 26:38

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 26:39

you're looking for. And just like my my male clients, like forty percent of my clients are male, I end up getting rid of probably eighty percent of the women right away off

Andrea Knoche (: 26:47

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 26:47

the top, because it's well, because not because they're bad people, but because it's not what they're looking for. So

Andrea Knoche (: 26:54

Right.

Andrea McGinty (: 26:55

why waste all that time? And it can

Andrea Knoche (: 26:57

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 26:57

be overwhelming when you get on a site and you see all these people and you're just scrolling and scroll and you're like, my gosh. And

and then people are

Andrea Knoche (: 27:03

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 27:04

like, I spend

You know, I spend hours on this. It's a full-time job. it it's just because they don't know what they're doing. But if

Andrea Knoche (: 27:11

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 27:12

if they have the coaching and they know and then they know what they're doing, then it can become fun, which is a really weird

Andrea Knoche (: 27:18

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 27:19

word to say. Fun and online dating. Most people wouldn't say that, but it can be fun. No, they wouldn't.

Andrea Knoche (: 27:22

They wouldn't put those two together. No, that's really cool

that you do that. yeah, I I have been on the dating sites. So I got divorced like nine years ago. So I've been on and off the dating sites. You know, you ride it for a little while and then you gotta take a break. And it always is, I don't even know why it's still surprising when I come back on, and there is still the same people over and over again that you often see on there. And so, but

That's also me coming on, right? Again and again. Yeah. I mean, if I'm being real about it, that's me. Yeah, I know her. I've seen her before.

Andrea McGinty (: 27:54

I was just gonna say that. I was just gonna say, but but they might say Yeah, they might say, look, she's back.

Andrea Knoche (: 28:02

I know. I know. And then I find myself going through, you know, the different profiles, and I'm just like, And so much of what you said is true. It's, you know, it's very easy to put your photos up there, but it's not as easy to take the time to really put

really good prompts or to say things you want to say about yourself or what you're really looking for. And so that's a good weed out to kind of see if they have multiple photos, but there's really nothing about themselves. That's the easy path. We know that you can upload photos pretty easily, right? Very easy.

Andrea McGinty (: 28:32

Right.

Andrea Knoche (: 28:33

So I like that that you look at that. And then also yeah when I'm going through, I there's so many times, Andrea, that I want to just swipe on them, even though I'm not interested in them just to like help them with their profile and just go,

Okay, please, can I j I'm not interested in you. I think you you seem like a wonderful man. Not totally what I'm looking for, but I would love to help you. Just let me help you. Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 28:57

No, you what, I'm the same way when I'm when I'm on with like a

female client and we're looking at men and I see somebody and and I think if he would just dress better, he looks like he's dressing like his it like a dad, like he's his dad. I mean like he's like

Andrea Knoche (: 29:07

I know Yes, yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 29:12

seventy years old, not you know, forty five or fifty.

Andrea Knoche (: 29:15

Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 29:16

I'm like, you know, if you would only dress better and I I almost want to you know, t text him a message, but then you know, I can't. Yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 29:22

I know, but then we can't. I know. But

food, they put pictures of food or their dog. I'm not dating your dog. Like, you know what I mean? Like it's just your dog.

Andrea McGinty (: 29:31

I know. I know.

It's your dog and dog well, I i if you're if you're in the photo with your dog, I'm okay with it. now cats are a whole different story because the majority of men don't like cats. It's it's something like eighty five percent of men don't like cats. So if you're a woman and you have cats, that's wonderful. Like

Andrea Knoche (: 29:55

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 29:56

I mean, I think cats are cute too, but don't put in your don't put online with you.

Andrea Knoche (: 29:59

In your photos,

but mention them. Should they mention that? Okay, okay, okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 30:01

Don't put him in your photo. No mention on the date. No. You know, wait until

go out with them. You know, go on dates with them first. you don't have to you're not introducing to your pet, you know, on the first date. No. No.

Andrea Knoche (: 30:15

No, not that kind of pet. No.

You're right. So that is such a good tip. That's a good tip. So I want to give a couple little things for you know, the listeners to be able to write down. you were mentioning about let me start with the geographic locations of certain dating sites. So you mentioned like coffee meets bagel. That's better. You're just saying on the East Coast clearly, or just New York, because it's that's what it is. Everybody's walking everywhere and

And doing coffee, right?

Andrea McGinty (: 30:47

You know what? Coffee meets bagel, it's just the name of it. It really has nothing to do with coffee. it's just

Andrea Knoche (: 30:51

it interesting.

Andrea McGinty (: 30:54

it's it's their whole their whole thing.

Andrea Knoche (: 30:57

Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 30:57

but coffee meets bagel, it just it started in New York and it just has a huge following in New York. So it's like

Andrea Knoche (: 31:03

Interesting. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 31:05

okay, I'll give you an example of another one, like Rhea.

Andrea Knoche (: 31:08

Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 31:09

okay, Rhea, you know, the one like celebrities go on supposedly. Okay, Rhea.

Andrea Knoche (: 31:14

Mm-hmm. I've been on the wait list

for four years, Andre. Four years. I'm not even looking anywhere. Okay, tell us.

Andrea McGinty (: 31:18

y you know what? You don't even want to be on Rhea. And I'll tell you why. Rhea is

for 20s and early 30s in Miami, New York City, and Los Angeles in

Andrea Knoche (: 31:27

Okay. Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 31:29

the entertainment business. that's who it's for. Like when when

Andrea Knoche (: 31:33

That's who it's for.

Andrea McGinty (: 31:34

I get a 50 year old woman in, you know, Palm Beach, Florida, who wants to be on Ray, I'm like, really? No, you don't. There's there's

Andrea Knoche (: 31:38

Yeah. Yeah. Really? Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 31:43

there's no men in your age group and there's no men that want to meet you.

Andrea Knoche (: 31:47

Yes. Mm. So where would you direct her? Where would you direct someone in Pombi?

Andrea McGinty (: 31:48

And no, there's much, much

depending on depending on w what she's like and what she's looking for, maybe maybe hinge, maybe match.com. Hinge hinge

Andrea Knoche (: 32:02

Okay. Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 32:05

X has a much more upscale group of people and an older group of people. So Hinge X

Andrea Knoche (: 32:09

Mm. Meaning willing to pay

and people who are not. Is that really what the

Andrea McGinty (: 32:14

Well

Andrea Knoche (: 32:15

difference between X?

Andrea McGinty (: 32:16

Yeah, well X yeah, X is like their platinum brand of Hinge and it tends to be better educated and older. So it like the forty to fifty eight year old crowd, Hinge

Andrea Knoche (: 32:29

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 32:29

X is a good place to go. That's a really good place. And

Andrea Knoche (: 32:31

Okay, love that.

Andrea McGinty (: 32:33

it's got a nice balance of men and women. Now, if you were telling me you only want to be on Bumble where you live,

Andrea Knoche (: 32:41

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 32:42

I could also tell you Bumble where you live is probably my best guess would be it's 75 to 80 percent women right now.

Andrea Knoche (: 32:50

Ooh.

Andrea McGinty (: 32:51

So, so think about that. That's that's another thing to think about. Uh-uh, it's it's my my male clients love it and have a great time on Bumble. You

Andrea Knoche (: 32:54

Yeah, not good for us, good for the men. Yeah. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 33:02

know, that that was just my guesstimate for your market, but

Andrea Knoche (: 33:04

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 33:04

it it's probably somewhere somewhere around there. so you want to

Andrea Knoche (: 33:07

Yeah. Makes sense.

Andrea McGinty (: 33:08

be on now for you.

on a match dot com, it's probably

Andrea Knoche (: 33:14

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 33:14

about 80% male in your in your market. Mm-hmm. And it's

Andrea Knoche (: 33:17

Man. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 33:19

an easy site to search out search for what you're looking for. they have a

Andrea Knoche (: 33:25

Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 33:26

very, very they have a very good search engine and they've

Andrea Knoche (: 33:30

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 33:31

you know, they're kind of the grandfather of all the, you know, online sites.

Andrea Knoche (: 33:37

Yeah. I feel like unfortunately I've 'cause I've gone on there in the past and it was a lot of grandfathers. It's like

Andrea McGinty (: 33:44

Yeah, maybe.

Andrea Knoche (: 33:45

yeah, it was a different caliber of men. Like I like an older man. That's attractive to me. I have salt and pepper hair, you know, sophisticated, doesn't have to be extremely successful, has stability. I enjoy that, you know. Not looking to have kids.

Andrea McGinty (: 33:59

Right.

Andrea Knoche (: 33:59

Yeah.

And so I was hoping that's where I would find something like that. This is I haven't been on Magic in a couple years, but you know, went on it and it was just a very different caliber of men. That was not quite what I was looking for. But I will say, Andrea, I'm not one to pay to be on the dating sites. Like I'm kind of like I just go and see how it goes and I use the free version of what I need to, right? And maybe that is where it's off. Is that

Would you say that's something for the listeners? Like if you're serious and you really want to find somebody of your caliber and what you're looking for, you got to pay that money.

Andrea McGinty (: 34:35

Absolutely, you should be paying. Absolutely.

Andrea Knoche (: 34:37

Hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 34:38

I mean, come on, it's $30 or $40 a month. Really? Yes, you

Andrea Knoche (: 34:41

Yeah, yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 34:42

should pay. That's why you're not seeing the good men on match. They're not you're not seeing everybody. That's that's

Andrea Knoche (: 34:45

That's there you go. Yep.

Andrea McGinty (: 34:48

it right there. I mean, are 100% of the men gonna be what you're looking for? Of course not. But are are 10% gonna be the caliber or in the at least in the realm of what you're looking for?

Andrea Knoche (: 34:56

Mm. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 34:59

Probably.

Andrea Knoche (: 35:01

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 35:01

now you're it's we're gonna get it down to probably two percent.

but that's okay because they have such so many people on on that site.

Andrea Knoche (: 35:08

Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 35:09

But yes, on any site, you have got to pay to play. And you want skin

Andrea Knoche (: 35:12

There you go. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 35:15

in the game, and you want them to have skin in the game too, because it means they're

Andrea Knoche (: 35:18

That's important.

Andrea McGinty (: 35:18

serious about meeting people. You know, that people ask me about Facebook dating a lot. And I

Andrea Knoche (: 35:24

yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 35:25

I'm I'm like I I'm very anti Facebook dating. It's

Andrea Knoche (: 35:29

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 35:29

it's great from the perspective of Facebook has so much info on.

Everybody, right? And they've got

Andrea Knoche (: 35:35

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 35:35

you nailed down geographically and they know so much about your interest just from posts you did fifteen years ago, right? When everyone

Andrea Knoche (: 35:42

Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 35:42

was still doing Facebook. the problem is nobody it it's free. So it's free. And I'll say it again, it's free. So you get what you pay for, nothing,

Andrea Knoche (: 35:48

Mm. It is. That's right.

Andrea McGinty (: 35:53

you know. So I I I can't even tell you anyone in the last two years who's met somebody on Facebook that I've worked with, you know, that 'cause I make everyone pay. Yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 35:58

Yeah. Yeah. It just yeah.

Yeah. And good for you. No, that is a very good telltale of who is really in it to find somebody important. I think I was just kind of on and off and on and off, you know, fluttering around, seeing what was available. And I think that's fine if you're not completely serious, you're not sure what you're looking for yet or fully ready to date. Maybe you're just, you know, dipping your toe into see. But once you become more serious and you are actively looking to find your person.

Then I think that's really important to make sure you're paying for that. That's good. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 36:31

Right. And then you'll also

know people are paying too, like if you do something like a hinge X, because that X

Andrea Knoche (: 36:38

Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 36:38

means they bought the top tier program. That means they're serious about meeting somebody. And and I and I like that. And even Tinder, even Tinder has that now. You know, Tinder has their platinum program. and those are people who pay. And

Andrea Knoche (: 36:42

Mm. Yeah. Yeah. I do too. Mm. Mm. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 36:52

my ex my ex husband met somebody really nice on Tinder, and like he's my age and

Andrea Knoche (: 36:57

He did.

Andrea McGinty (: 36:58

and she's lovely.

And and you know,

er everyone's like, I thought that's a hookup site. And and he met her and

Andrea Knoche (: 37:04

Yeah, it's known. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 37:07

she's lovely and well educated and you know, yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 37:10

Wonderful.

You never know where you're gonna end up meeting somebody,

right?

Andrea McGinty (: 37:14

I know.

Andrea Knoche (: 37:15

It's just, it's so, I don't know, just so all over the place. so we were talking earlier before we even started recording about kind of age age groups out there, right? Like a lot of my listeners

Andrea McGinty (: 37:26

Right.

Andrea Knoche (: 37:27

are 40s and above, but I also have some younger ones that listen in the 18 to 25 age group that just like to tune in, maybe to hear what what's ahead. What's ahead for them? I don't know.

But so what is the big difference that you see? You mostly work with you said 35 and older, is that correct? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 37:46

Right. Right.

Andrea Knoche (: 37:49

obvious well, there's the obvious differences, right? Like we are more mature, we know what we're looking for, we've been through a lot of experience and the young ones. So where would you, if there were some younger ones that came to you, where would you direct them to go to if you had to do that much? Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 38:03

Okay, well, you

know, okay, well I've I've got three kids in their twenties. So

Andrea Knoche (: 38:07

That's right.

Andrea McGinty (: 38:09

I've got a 21-year-old who's a senior in college, and

Andrea Knoche (: 38:13

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 38:13

her friends are on Hinge and Tinder. And here they

Andrea Knoche (: 38:17

Okay. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 38:19

are, they're at a huge university. I'm like, why

Andrea Knoche (: 38:21

And

Andrea McGinty (: 38:22

do you guys need to be on a dating site? And they're like,

Andrea Knoche (: 38:25

Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 38:25

we meet we meet guys, and I'm I'm not gonna say the school she's at, but

We need guys that, you know, sometimes they're in our classes. And I'm like, okay, they're in your classes.

Andrea Knoche (: 38:36

Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 38:38

but yeah, so you know, they're they're using they're using the dating sites too. So

Andrea Knoche (: 38:43

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 38:43

are are they paying? No, they're not paying. They're definitely not paying.

Andrea Knoche (: 38:45

Mm mm mm mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 38:47

And they're meeting people, but but that's a norm for like that eighteen to twenty five year old age group to not pay and meet people. So they're on Tinder, they're on Hinge. Those are the two big ones for them. The two big, big ones for them.

Andrea Knoche (: 38:53

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. They're an hinge. Okay. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 39:01

And yeah, and then

Andrea Knoche (: 39:01

And then the older, more

match and hinge still, but hinge X, right? Maybe yeah. Little bumble.

Andrea McGinty (: 39:07

Hinch hinge axe, right? some, you

know, some on some on Bumble.

Andrea Knoche (: 39:13

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 39:14

you know, there and then then there's other specialty, you know, that then that when you really drill down, there's some of those really specialty dating sites that I would kind of stay away from only because they sound like a really great idea. Like I love yoga. And and there's like a site that's all for people who do yoga, except there's nobody on it. There's hardly anyone or or or they're on it, but there's

Andrea Knoche (: 39:34

'Cause they're out doing their yoga.

Andrea McGinty (: 39:36

They're spread out all over the US and there's hardly anyone

Andrea Knoche (: 39:38

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 39:39

on it. So while it's a great idea, you know, it's like the yoga meditation

Andrea Knoche (: 39:42

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 39:43

site, but there's hardly anybody on it. So you the chances of meeting somebody, you

Andrea Knoche (: 39:48

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 39:49

to have a much better shot, you know, on Hinge or Bumble or Match or or one of the big boys, you know.

Andrea Knoche (: 39:53

Yeah. That's

what, yeah. And I like that too, because with hinge and and bumble and match, you can narrow it down to where you live within a certain radius, you know, of who you're looking to meet.

Andrea McGinty (: 40:03

Right.

Andrea Knoche (: 40:04

So I like that a lot. I think Tinder is also nationwide, if I'm not mistaken, right? Like Raya, yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 40:09

It's huge.

Andrea Knoche (: 40:11

Yeah. And then there was another one I was just gonna say. I've seen so many just pop up, like Zeus and Cupid, and there's just so many, so many out there.

Andrea McGinty (: 40:22

Well, there's

fourteen there's over fourteen hundred. I mean, it's cra it's crazy. Yeah, and you

Andrea Knoche (: 40:23

Fourteen hundred, fourteen hundred. Yeah. Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 40:27

want you wanna stick with the top twenty-five because they're gonna they're gonna have the volume. And like you said, you can search. I mean, you can take it down to a radius, you know, a client of mine that lives in New York City and Manhattan, you know, they can take it down to a five mile radius because they don't even want

Andrea Knoche (: 40:38

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 40:41

to date Brooklyn, you know, so they can take it down that small. yeah, I mean, because they're they have that population so concentrated.

Andrea Knoche (: 40:43

That is crazy. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 40:50

Whereas, you know, if you're in Los Angeles, you know, maybe you're in Santa Monica, but you're willing to, you know, date in the valley or you're willing to

Andrea Knoche (: 40:57

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 40:57

date, you know, Long Beach,

Andrea Knoche (: 41:00

Sure.

Andrea McGinty (: 41:00

you have to you have to open up the mileage. but

Andrea Knoche (: 41:03

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 41:03

you can, you know, you can search, you can start with a ten mile radius, see, I'm not finding it,

Andrea Knoche (: 41:08

Then I open it.

Andrea McGinty (: 41:09

and you know, go to fifteen, go to twenty miles, and open

Andrea Knoche (: 41:11

Yeah. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 41:12

it up a little bit more.

Andrea Knoche (: 41:14

Yeah. Yeah. I love doing that once in a while just to get fresh new faces, you know? And and then you can decide if you I remember talking to a guy actually, because I I am in Long Beach area, I was talking to a guy in Santa Monica. Funny you just said that. And you know, he was like, Well, he was talking to me about a restaurant that was right on the ocean, on Ocean Boulevard, right by where he lived, and I was like, Yeah.

See, maybe we should meet somewhere in the middle. Like, so that's a big thing, right? Because I am not

Andrea McGinty (: 41:42

Yes.

Andrea Knoche (: 41:43

gonna come I'm not gonna drive to you an hour or whatever it is on my first date. As the woman too, I think he should have offered to to come that way. But he ended up doing that. I was very I stuck to my boundaries. So yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 41:54

Yes, I to I totally agree with you that

either you should split the distance or he should

Andrea Knoche (: 42:00

Or him come to you.

Andrea McGinty (: 42:01

come a little closer to you. Yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 42:03

I agree.

I agree. That is so funny. So, and then so once you meet somebody, let's talk about once you meet somebody on the dating apps. And and you said you've been able to match up a really good amount, 65%, right? So at what point do you get them off of it? They're chatting with somebody. How long should somebody stay on that dating app, just chatting, chatting, chatting before either they go on the first date or if they actually have date, before they are like, hey, I'm getting off the apps.

I

just want to hang out with you. Through time

frames. Okay. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 42:36

Okay, so those are two different questions. Okay. So

the first question that you asked me, you've got to get off messaging and texting back and forth as fast as possible. Fast. Because here it yes, I mean it it's it it no more than five days. And I'll I'll give you I'll give you a study.

Andrea Knoche (: 42:47

Okay, fast. Like two days a week is a week fast? No more than five days. Okay, good gauge.

Andrea McGinty (: 42:57

Stanford has a study that's been going

Andrea Knoche (: 42:58

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 42:59

on for 22 years, and here's what they've come up with. If

You are still, if you haven't met the person after five days of texting, there's a 90% chance you will never meet the person in real life.

Andrea Knoche (: 43:13

Hindi.

Andrea McGinty (: 43:14

Yeah, it's high. It's a very, very high statistic. So you've got to get off the messaging, you know, a message, you know, initially, he messages back, you message, he messages, then hey, you know what? I'm ready to meet in person.

Andrea Knoche (: 43:30

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 43:32

How about if we meet, and this is one of my favorite questions. How about if we meet Thursday or Friday for a drink after work at Bistro 110 at six o'clock? Which day would work better for you? Which day would work better

Andrea Knoche (: 43:45

Woo

Andrea McGinty (: 43:46

for you? Now you're giving a choice because people, they do this all the time. We should get together sometime. I'm like, sometime? What? Sometime

Andrea Knoche (: 43:55

Yeah. Never happens.

Andrea McGinty (: 43:57

means never. Sometimes means never. So I like that which question.

and in my book, that's the one like that I'm asked about the most, the witch question. So which works better for you, Friday or Saturday? And have you been to Bistro 110? And or or give two choices of two different, you know, fun places that you know,

and

Andrea Knoche (: 44:16

Sure. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 44:18

and give two different, you know, dates and places. And

Andrea Knoche (: 44:21

Yeah. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 44:23

see and if they come back with, well, I'm really busy this week, let's talk next week and see. Okay, boom, they're gone.

Andrea Knoche (: 44:32

Done. Mm. Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 44:32

It's never happening. Goodbye.

if you know, if they come back and say, Yeah, you know, Friday would be great, but have you ever been to XYZ? if something you're interested, you sure, yeah, why not?

Andrea Knoche (: 44:44

for it. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 44:46

okay, so that I think that that was your first question.

Andrea Knoche (: 44:48

Yeah. Yep.

Andrea McGinty (: 44:49

get office and and don't waste time on the phone. Don't think you're gonna have phone calls. Mm-mm. Because

Andrea Knoche (: 44:53

I was just gonna ask that. Should you FaceTime?

At least to see.

Andrea McGinty (: 45:00

You know, mm I

Andrea Knoche (: 45:02

I'm like

Andrea McGinty (: 45:03

if you're if they've got five or six photos up, and you've had some good text back and forth, I don't think there's a reason that you need to FaceTime. I the thing that I that worries me is when I get on the phone with a client and they'll and I'll be like, How's everything? And she'll say, It's great. You know what? We talked like three times last week. I go, What do you mean you talked?

well, the first time a half an hour, the next time an hour. I'm like, but where'd you go? we haven't gone anywhere yet. I'm like, okay, no, this is you have a phone buddy now. Now you have a phone buddy. You don't have a text buddy. You have a phone buddy. No, no, we don't you don't need to do that. Now the only time

Andrea Knoche (: 45:39

You do now. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 45:45

the text, I think, I mean, excuse me, a FaceTime might be appropriate. Let's say the person lives an hour away from you and

Andrea Knoche (: 45:55

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 45:55

you're trying to decide and and you're in Los Angeles the Los Angeles area.

Andrea Knoche (: 45:58

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 45:59

So there it can be a lot. We know the traffic. We know what it's like. It's it's the same in like Dallas can be crazy with traffic. Yeah,

Andrea Knoche (: 46:01

Yeah. An hour is ten miles. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 46:05

it can be crazy. So maybe, maybe it's worth doing a FaceTime call. But if you're gonna do that, you can say, you know, I think I'm really interested in meeting in real life. You're gonna say this in a message. I think I'm really interested in meeting in real life. Let's do a quick 10 minute 10 minute FaceTime and go from

Andrea Knoche (: 46:23

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 46:23

there.

Andrea Knoche (: 46:24

Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 46:24

And

so now you're setting boundaries. It's gonna be a ten minute FaceTime and it's to see if you wanna meet in real life, right? So th so

Andrea Knoche (: 46:31

Okay, love it.

Andrea McGinty (: 46:33

there's a reason for this call. It's not because now you're gonna get into an hour long call. And and you always

Andrea Knoche (: 46:38

Mm. Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 46:40

get off the phone, you know, if even if you're having the most amazing phone call, even ten minutes into it, say, you know, I've gotta go. I'm meeting a girlfriend for dinner or I'm I I've got plans this evening.

Let's definitely get together. I'm interested. What do you think? Or how do you feel? How do you feel? Because then boom. Yeah, ask.

Andrea Knoche (: 46:56

Mm, good. Yes. I was gonna ask you that. Yes. Because

yeah, because a lot of times, and I've said this as well, like a phone conversation, you start going way too long. And I've even said 30 minutes max, and that seems very long according to what you're saying, because then you somehow you dip into that friend zone for some reason, or it just tapers off, or you've told too much about yourself, right? And then there's just the excitement, I think, maybe even goes away.

Andrea McGinty (: 47:25

Yes.

Yes. And you

Andrea Knoche (: 47:26

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 47:27

know the other thing that happens? Here's what else could happen. This

Andrea Knoche (: 47:30

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 47:31

could have been the perfect man for you, but he's bad on the phone and he's kind of shy. And so because

of the phone call, now suddenly you don't want to meet him in real life. And

Andrea Knoche (: 47:40

No

Andrea McGinty (: 47:41

nothing happens. And that could have been your future husband. That could have been him. And and you never even

Andrea Knoche (: 47:44

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 47:46

meet. So that's why I'm like, I'm like anti-phone call. Okay.

Andrea Knoche (: 47:49

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 47:50

Then your your second thing, when when do you go offline and

when do you

Andrea Knoche (: 47:54

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 47:55

like you're a thing, right? You're just seeing each other. Yeah, you're together.

Andrea Knoche (: 47:57

Yes, yes. You're together, yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 48:02

most of the time it happens naturally. Thank goodness. Most of the time it

Andrea Knoche (: 48:05

Okay. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 48:06

happens just, you know, like, okay, you've gone on four or five dates, you really like each other.

Andrea Knoche (: 48:11

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 48:13

you can t you can test it out, you know, even say, you know, and I think I'm gonna I think I'm gonna take myself off bumble.

Andrea Knoche (: 48:20

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 48:20

you know, I really enjoy hanging, you I'm having fun with you.

And and if he says, yeah, that you should or something like that, you should. You know, boy, he's not doing it, right? Right, he's not doing it. Or and here's the other thing, on on most

Andrea Knoche (: 48:29

You should. Yeah. Good for you.

Andrea McGinty (: 48:40

of the sites that you're on anyway, or the apps, you can see when you're on, like let's say you've gone on four dates with this person, you can see if he's on too.

Andrea Knoche (: 48:48

Yeah. If

he's still active. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 48:50

I mean, if you're on, he

and in he you're you're being active, he's active, you

Andrea Knoche (: 48:54

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 48:54

know, you're both you're both still being active. It kind of, you know, happens after usually, I would say maybe six or seven dates.

Andrea Knoche (: 49:01

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 49:02

and people have that, you know, kinda talk. And

Andrea Knoche (: 49:05

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 49:05

it's not it doesn't have to it's not a big talk. It's not like you're planning your wedding. It's you

Andrea Knoche (: 49:07

No. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 49:09

know, you're planning on going off, you know, a dating app. you

Andrea Knoche (: 49:13

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 49:14

know, just saying, Hey, you know, my membership is about to expire. I'm not gonna renew it. I'm having fun hanging out with you.

Andrea Knoche (: 49:19

That's great way to say it. Love that. That's a great way to say it. Yeah, my membership's expiring. Yeah. And I'm gonna get off. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 49:19

And just see what they say. Pardon me? Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna I'm gonna go off. I'm having fun hanging out with you. And then watch what he says. Or she says. Yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 49:32

And if they say, if you start dating somebody, you go out on, I guess you already kind of answered this, but one or two dates, and they're like, hey, so I went ahead and I'm gonna go ahead and get off the dating app. Now let's say it's one date because this has been done.

I'm gonna go ahead and get off the dating app now. You know, is that a red flag to you? You're like, we went on one date and he's already wanting to get off the dating app. Right. Right. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 49:53

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I I think I think that's somebody who yeah. that's a little too

Andrea Knoche (: 50:00

Is it implies that they're kind

of ready to just eat you and focus and you know nothing about them, really. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 50:06

it it's too much too soon. You

know, it's kind of like we could talk about, you know, like people who love bomb, you know, and and stuff

Andrea Knoche (: 50:13

Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 50:14

like that. But, you know, after one date saying, Boom, that's it, that that's a bit much. Yeah. Too much.

Andrea Knoche (: 50:18

Yeah, too much, too much. And

do you do you find a lot on the profiles are using AI for majority of their conversations at this point? It's a whole nother world. Yeah, no. messaging. Meth

Andrea McGinty (: 50:30

You mean for the messaging or for the prompts or for what

Andrea Knoche (: 50:35

let's go with messaging. Cause I find I did go out with one guy that his responses were so

Good. But he was a writer. So that was tricky because I'm like, okay, but you know, and I remember saying to my girlfriends, but he's a writer. So it could be very likely that he's just a really great writer. But then I did actually ask, and he said it was half him, half half chat. Yeah. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 51:00

You know something that I I l I Andrea, I like that you asked because I I

would encourage somebody to ask too. I I was I you could just even say in another message to Your messages are so good. They're way better than mine.

Andrea Knoche (: 51:11

So good. Is this really you?

Andrea McGinty (: 51:13

Okay, tell me, are you using Grok or AI or are you Claude? Who are you using? Tell me. But then again, you're

Andrea Knoche (: 51:19

Yes, yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 51:20

a writer. Maybe they are you and see how they respond. I mean, make it fun, not accusatory or anything, you know.

Andrea Knoche (: 51:23

Yes, make it fun. Yeah. Yep.

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 51:28

But yeah,

yeah, y you c you can ask. Now are people doing it? Yeah, some people are doing it. I would say probably half

Andrea Knoche (: 51:33

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 51:34

the people are doing it. But it like you said, usually you can tell because

Andrea Knoche (: 51:38

You can tell.

Andrea McGinty (: 51:38

they're you they're using some words that we don't it they're not everyday vernacular. I mean, it's not stuff we say every day. and

Andrea Knoche (: 51:45

Yes, or dashes in

there. A lot of dashes. That's a chat thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 51:49

Right, right. Yeah, exactly.

Andrea Knoche (: 51:53

yeah. That's good stuff because my fear was always like, and I I believe it happened too, you know, you ran this great conversation on the app, but because they're using, you know, this extra help to answer their questions when you get in person, the conversation fell real flat because that's not really who they are.

You know, and they're not maybe

Andrea McGinty (: 52:10

Right.

Andrea Knoche (: 52:11

able to hold a conversation as well as chat can. So you know, yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 52:14

Ex exactly, exactly. I

mean chat chat should be used only as if if there's like one sentence that you couldn't quite get

Andrea Knoche (: 52:25

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 52:25

right and you're trying to say something, like yeah, you use chat and look it up and and and y you can use it. but make sure

Andrea Knoche (: 52:31

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 52:33

it's something like that if you said it out loud, it would sound normal.

Andrea Knoche (: 52:37

Thank

Andrea McGinty (: 52:37

You know, it wouldn't sound like, whoa, that's a really weird way to say something, you know.

Andrea Knoche (: 52:40

Right. Yeah.

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 52:43

I

can tell too when people have written like if there's a long bio or like some sites

Andrea Knoche (: 52:48

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 52:48

l allow you to have a long bio, I can almost always tell that chat wrote it because

Andrea Knoche (: 52:51

So obvious. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 52:54

people don't write like that and people don't say, I really want to align with you. I wanna align with you? What?

Andrea Knoche (: 52:59

No, they d one of you said that.

Andrea McGinty (: 53:02

What have yeah, when have you said that? I wanna align with you. i it'll use some really it's still it's still not ready to take over our dating lives yet.

Andrea Knoche (: 53:05

Not. Yeah. Weird words.

No, thank goodness. Thank goodness. But

Andrea McGinty (: 53:14

Yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 53:15

yeah. Or even write it. I would tend to write it out myself of what I really want to say. And then maybe just take it and go, just polish this up for me a little bit, right? Because it's still your thoughts, your ideas, and your yeah. Love that. Love that.

Andrea McGinty (: 53:24

Right. That's fine. Yeah, because then you're

using it as like an editor, as as it should be used, like to edit

Andrea Knoche (: 53:30

Yes. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 53:32

you versus, you know, write for for you. Yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 53:34

Yeah.

my goodness. So much good stuff. So before we finish here, a couple final questions. number one, for those women and the listeners or men, anyone out there that's listening and they're just like exhausted. They're exhausted by dating and thinking maybe this just isn't gonna happen for me. Where would you tell them to start tomorrow? Would where would you say, start start with me? 33,000 dates. But where should they start?

Andrea McGinty (: 53:59

Well, you know what, I

I would say start start with maybe some help then. you

Andrea Knoche (: 54:07

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 54:07

know, there there are some good dating coaches out there, of course me. but you know,

Andrea Knoche (: 54:10

Mm-hmm. Yes, yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 54:12

I mean, yeah, because it then it takes the pressure off you. You know you're gonna be on the right site, you know somebody's going to be writing the right things for you and they're gonna be showing you how to navigate the site and how

Andrea Knoche (: 54:24

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 54:25

how to respond to people. Because

All of these sites and platforms work off algorithms. So

Andrea Knoche (: 54:31

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 54:31

the people that you're liking and responding to, let let's just use hinge as an example for a second, since hinge is big. Well, let's use Tinder. Let's use Tinder. Tinder Tinder's the biggest. Okay, let's use Tinder.

Andrea Knoche (: 54:39

Yeah, I love tint. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 54:43

by you swiping and liking like 10 people last night, Tinder's starting to build a profile about you, Andrea, saying Andrea

Andrea Knoche (: 54:52

Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 54:53

likes this type of man.

And if they

Andrea Knoche (: 54:55

Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 54:56

are really not the type of men that you like, maybe you just like their looks or you or i you but you gotta be careful with those algorithms because it's starting to build

Andrea Knoche (: 55:06

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 55:07

for you and is building what it's going to show you in the future too. The men it's

Andrea Knoche (: 55:11

Yeah, yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 55:12

going to show you in the future. So maybe have somebody guide you, you know.

Andrea Knoche (: 55:17

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 55:17

if if you've got a good friend who's had a lot of success with online dating, you know, have them take you through it.

Andrea Knoche (: 55:22

Mm. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 55:24

Show somebody else your photos. you know,

Andrea Knoche (: 55:25

It's good. Mm hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 55:28

show show a good friend the six photos. You want six photos up. so

Andrea Knoche (: 55:32

Six photos. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 55:33

six photos. And show them to somebody else and and show them to somebody of the opposite sex too, and

Andrea Knoche (: 55:39

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 55:40

say, what what do you think about these photos? And they'll they'll give

Andrea Knoche (: 55:43

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 55:43

you good feedback, like maybe four of them are good and two I wouldn't use because of, you know, XYZ. so but I

Andrea Knoche (: 55:48

Yeah. That's good.

Andrea McGinty (: 55:51

I would

I would I would start with online and you know, if if you can afford it, if it's an and if you really want it, I would say hire somebody to help you at least for the first month. And

Andrea Knoche (: 56:02

Yeah. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 56:03

and so you really understand how it works and you don't become frustrated because that's what happens. most people quit the first week, the first week. So they don't even give it a week. and so you've got you've gotta it is, it's a yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 56:13

Yeah. Mm. Cause it's overwhelming. It's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So just to touch base on the photos, you said six photos, no sunglasses, hats, tons of friends where you can't figure out which one's which. No dogs, cats, food.

Andrea McGinty (: 56:35

Right. You you want like you want a good headshot. You want a good you want a good shot of you doing something you love to do. Like

Andrea Knoche (: 56:42

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 56:43

I have one woman, she's on a Pilates reformer and and she's

Andrea Knoche (: 56:46

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 56:46

working out and it's out it that one gets a lot of attention because a lot of guys still don't know what a Pilates reformer is. And they're always

Andrea Knoche (: 56:52

Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 56:53

like, What are you on? What are you doing? You know, it's it's a good

Andrea Knoche (: 56:55

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 56:55

picture. It's showing she's athletic and it's and you know, it's telling something about her. another good one.

You should have one photo with other people in it. And I don't mean twenty

Andrea Knoche (: 57:06

Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 57:06

people, but maybe like three or four people. It shows you have friends. It shows you have a social life. And but make sure you're front and center in

Andrea Knoche (: 57:09

And yeah. Okay. Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 57:15

the photo. And so people can easily, you know, idea identify you.

Andrea Knoche (: 57:20

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 57:21

okay, we just said a hobby. a a full body photo is really important. Yeah. So people know

Andrea Knoche (: 57:23

Mm-hmm. Full body. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 57:27

it know what you look like. There's no surprises.

Andrea Knoche (: 57:30

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 57:30

And then

make sure make sure the photos that you're putting up are within the last year.

Andrea Knoche (: 57:35

Good point.

Andrea McGinty (: 57:35

they're current. They are current photos because just like you don't want to go on a date and be surprised to see somebody's gained 30 pounds.

Andrea Knoche (: 57:43

No.

Andrea McGinty (: 57:44

you know, or they or they don't look they're suddenly bald because they used a picture from eight years ago. You know, it's you don't want to be surprised

Andrea Knoche (: 57:52

That is so funny to me.

Andrea McGinty (: 57:54

when you go out, right? and you don't want to

Andrea Knoche (: 57:55

Yes. I've seen that so many times.

Like a young picture. They put like a child, like a you know, when they were like a teen. A lot of times it's someone that might be that was in the army or, you know, the navy or something. So they'll do like their well, I get it. You're yeah, I get it, but you that's not you anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about a video? Like do you think yeah. Or the voice voice prompts too. Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 58:09

Their military photo? Yeah. But it that's not you anymore. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. So yeah, yeah. Videos are good. And so so so

are audios. there

Andrea Knoche (: 58:25

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 58:27

I have a client who plays a guitar and he's a good that's not what he does professionally, but and he also has a good voice. And he sang on his and it's so it like women just loved

Andrea Knoche (: 58:37

So good.

Andrea McGinty (: 58:38

it.

Andrea Knoche (: 58:38

They swoon.

Andrea McGinty (: 58:38

You know, I mean he he

had a he had a he had a really good one. and and then if you're

Andrea Knoche (: 58:44

that's good.

Andrea McGinty (: 58:44

gonna do audio, say something, you know, like interesting, like, okay, I am really into pizza. My favorite pizza place is XYZ. And when I get pizza, I always put anchovies and la la la la la on it. What's your favorite? You know, tell me your favorite p pizza place. Like so they've got something to come back with yeah,

Andrea Knoche (: 59:01

Some more info. Mm-hmm.

Andrea McGinty (: 59:03

they've got something to say back to you, like, I've never been to that pizza place. I heard it's great.

And no,

Andrea Knoche (: 59:09

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 59:09

I would never eat an anchovy on a pizza. I think you're brave, you know. you know, you'll get you'll get response.

Andrea Knoche (: 59:13

Yes. So

good. those are great, great tips. Okay, so your top five dating sites that you would recommend. We're gonna do 40 and over. The older.

Andrea McGinty (: 59:24

okay, 40 and over my top five

Andrea Knoche (: 59:25

Yeah.

Andrea McGinty (: 59:26

dating sites are going to be Hinge, Bumble, Match.

Andrea Knoche (: 59:35

Mm-hmm.

Bookman.

Andrea McGinty (: 59:39

Probably

plenty of fish

Andrea Knoche (: 59:43

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 59:44

and zoosk. Those are gonna be my top five. Again, will vary by market and I might say something very different

Andrea Knoche (: 59:45

Okay. All right. Interesting. Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 59:52

in a different market.

Andrea Knoche (: 59:53

Okay. Very good. Very good. All right. I wanted to play this game with you real quick. We've we've spent so much time. I want to just do five quick questions and then I want everybody

Andrea McGinty (: 1:00:02

Sure.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:00:02

to know where they can find you. So I'm gonna give you a few dating scenarios, and you are gonna tell me whether we should date them or delete them. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:00:11

Okay.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:00:12

We like that one. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:00:13

Yeah,

I do that sounds fun.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:00:14

All right.

Okay, number one, he's not your usual physical type, but the conversation it's easy and you laughed the entire first date. He's not your usual type though. Date him. Go for it.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:00:24

Date Date Absolutely. I

just had somebody get engaged that was n it was not her type at all. He's kinda nerdy. They're getting married. Yeah. Date Date

Andrea Knoche (: 1:00:36

See outside

the box. Love it. Okay. Number two, he takes a day or two to respond to texts. But when he does, he makes actual plans and he follows through. Are we okay with that to date him?

Andrea McGinty (: 1:00:49

Yeah, datum. He might just be busy. if if it keeps going on like, you know it

Andrea Knoche (: 1:00:50

Data. He needs to pick that up a little.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:00:54

yeah, if if it goes on like, you know, a month later where it's taking him forty eight hours to get back in a text, dump Yeah. Don't delete dump

Andrea Knoche (: 1:01:01

Yeah, because we know everybody

is like attached to their phone. It takes 10 seconds to say something. I'll text you later. Right. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:01:05

Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:01:09

Number three, he's been divorced for six months and says he's completely ready for a serious relationship. Is that too soon? Are we gonna date him or are we gonna delete him?

Andrea McGinty (: 1:01:19

Is that too s

if you really I I I would I would date him and no, no that he's not ready for a relationship yet. He's not ready. Just go on a date. What yeah, why not? Yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:01:28

Hmm, he's not ready. So just date. Just see where it goes. No harm, no foul. Okay.

All right. number four, the first date was nice, but there were zero butterflies. But then he asks you out again. Do you go or do you not go with zero butterflies?

Andrea McGinty (: 1:01:48

date When in doubt, go out. G a second time. A a third time, no. Second time, yes.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:01:49

Him. Go. Ooh. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. Cause just like you said, sometimes people are nervous the first date. They're just, you know, something might be off, and then they're more comfortable the second one. They could be a totally different date, right?

Andrea McGinty (: 1:02:04

Right.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:02:05

Okay. I like that. okay, last one. He's everything you say you want on paper, but something about the connection just fell flat. Do you continue on with that?

Andrea McGinty (: 1:02:17

Nope, delete

Andrea Knoche (: 1:02:18

No.

Delete them. Plenty of fish in the sea.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:02:19

Nope, delete Yeah exactly. Exactly. Something felt off go with your gut.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:02:26

Yes. Ooh, I have one last question for you, not in that little game, but I've been thinking about this. When you set up a date with somebody, you've met them online, wherever, and then you guys set up a date. But the date may be a week out. Do you continue to talk every day, or maybe not even every day?

Casually

Andrea McGinty (: 1:02:43

Oof.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:02:44

in between that, or do you kind of go, we have this date set for a week? We'll talk then.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:02:49

Talk then. Talk then.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:02:50

Chalk Dan.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:02:51

you know, the the night before, a text, looking forward to seeing you tomorrow at XYZ at five o'clock. it'll be fun. That's it. No, no.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:02:58

Yes. Yes. And don't ask,

right? Like don't say, are we still on for Friday? You you act like, yeah. You're you set a date. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:03:04

No, no, don't it don't never say that. Assumptive. Be assumptive. Be confident. Yeah, it's happening. Yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:03:12

I love that. Love that. good stuff, Andrea. Thank you so much. Tell everybody where they can find you, your book you have out. You've got so much going on. Let's let's give it to the listeners.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:03:22

Sure. Okay.

dates, like: 33000

Andrea Knoche (: 1:03:27

Yes.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:03:29

And you know what's really fun on my site? Take the dating quiz because it's a profile

Andrea Knoche (: 1:03:33

Mm.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:03:34

quiz that will really give you a lot of information about what you're doing well and maybe what you're not doing so well and who you might be compatible with. So take the quiz. That's really fun

Andrea Knoche (: 1:03:43

We like that.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:03:43

online. And then yeah, my book came out last year and it was Amazon bestseller. It's called Second Acts, 166

Andrea Knoche (: 1:03:50

ooh nice.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:03:51

words.

winning strategies for dating over fifty. Though everyone who's bought it is like over 35. So it's more it's it it has nothing to do with age. and it's got like

Andrea Knoche (: 1:03:59

It's for everybody.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:04:01

sixteen worksheets in it. And I would

Andrea Knoche (: 1:04:03

Beautiful.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:04:04

buy it on Amazon because they have the best prices usually, but you can get it at Barnes and Noble too. So it's called Second

Andrea Knoche (: 1:04:08

made.

Andrea McGinty (: 1:04:09

Acts by Andrea McGuinty. Yeah.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:04:11

Wonderful. I'll have all of this in the show notes for everybody. I'm so glad you were here. And to the listeners, I hope you got some great tips out of here. I sure did. I'm not even on the market anymore, but I love all the tips that she's giving here. So if you want to get some help from Andrea as well, make sure that you check out the information in the show notes. And you can find me at from.misses dot the number two dot Ms. anywhere, pretty much TikTok, Instagram, website, all that good stuff. And

You can catch this video on YouTube. We had a really great time. Two Andrea is right here. Look that. It's good. That was

Andrea McGinty (: 1:04:43

Thanks, this was fun.

Andrea Knoche (: 1:04:45

fun. Thank you so much for joining me, Andrea. And we will talk to you guys next week. Have a good one. Bye-bye.