Age of Attraction Episode 5 Recap | Celibacy, Red Flags & Emotional Immaturity

Andrea (: 00:00

Welcome back to From Mrs. to Ms I'm your host, Andrea, back again with my girl Ozzy. Hi, Ozzy. Ha! ⁓ I love that you're here. Today we are diving into episode five of Age of Attraction, where the chemistry is still hot, but the emotional cracks are getting impossible to ignore at this point. So this episode it gave us some tension. There's a lot of passive aggressiveness.

We've got some celibacy struggles. We have some emotional mismatches and some major questions about whether these couples are actually compatible in real life or just caught up in the excitement of the experiment that I keep saying.

We're gonna touch base on Vanelle and Jorge, who are spiraling over intimacy and expectations within the relationship. we've got Vanessa stepping into full lieutenant Vanessa here, mode with Logan, and honestly, a few couples that are surprisingly starting to grow on us a little bit. So we have a lot to unpack.

So let's dive into episode five. Woohoo! All right. So we're gonna start out with Libby and Andrew. And are they seeming to be more comfortable? Is there more depth there? Are they blending well? What do you think?

Ozzie (: 01:20

Again, going back to my cringe, there's n it doesn't seem to be, and again, we never know how they edit this. So we're gonna preface that in saying that what we see is that there's no intimacy. I don't even think they're sleeping in the same bed. It just feels like they even point out to barely and they're joking with each other a lot. So it just feels a a bit sort of like in an immature relationship. And

Andrea (: 01:23

Hmm.

Yes. I don't think so. Barely kissing.

Immature. Mm-hmm. But

let me just interject there that I am I am okay with that coming from a mom who is a twenty-three year old. I'm kind of like, Yay, let's just slow this down, get to know each other, make sure you want to do that, because I don't want her jumping in and having sex with him, and then she's got all this craziness going on inside her, and it becomes more of a ⁓ like a chase than an attraction. I don't want that. Yeah.

Ozzie (: 01:56

Yes.

Yes. Yeah. And they even point

to her. They joke about being roommates forever. And he does tell her that they eventually have to move his the you know the relationship forward. So I think it's it sounds like she is a bit ha you know, going slow, which again, I agree with you. I'm all for slow burn in, because fast burns in. When you burn in fast, it leaves fast. So we wanna we you know, that's something I I tell a lot of my clients.

Andrea (: 02:14

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Apprehensive.

Do not end well.

Ozzie (: 02:37

Slow the F down. Slow and steady. You want to figure out as you're selecting, you want to figure out how you feel around this person without all the pheromones, right? And you want to just you wanna you wanna kind of sense sense from a place of groundedness, not from a place of

Andrea (: 02:37

Mm-hmm. Slow and steady wins the race.

Єс.

Ozzie (: 03:01

infast infatuation, which usually is what happens when you first meet someone and they're attractive. I mean, let's face it, they're the most attractive couple on on the show. ⁓ and so and then he asks Libby if she is ready for a commitment or if it scares her. And of course Libby says, No, that wouldn't scare me. So then he asks her if sh Yes. She she asks if she would Andrew asks her if if she would

Andrea (: 03:05

Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Mm. Mm. I love that you are dad.

And is this also where he asks her if she knows who the spice girls are? Is that where this is? And she's like, No, I don't know even when. And she mentions the powder puff girls. Dun like

Ozzie (: 03:39

Possibly.

Boom. Wow. ⁓

Andrea (: 03:46

There is the age gap right there. There's nothing

else needed to be said. That is so funny. Okay. All right. Then we are on to Teresa and John, and they are at dinner and they're talking about whether or not they're gonna have kids. And I think this is a good time for them to do it. They're recognizing they are kind of moving forward. He's about to meet her kids, you know, soon. And I feel like, you know, she's wanting to know, hey.

Ozzie (: 03:52

Yeah, I know.

Andrea (: 04:15

I don't think I want to have more kids. You are 27. What does that look like for you? And he's like, I know, I don't want to have kids. He's very certain of who he is. And I do like that. I think he knows who he is, what he wants, what he's looking for, and he has a maturity level to go with it. Do I think that could change down the road? Absolutely. You're 27 and and kids seems like a burden right now. ⁓ and he's trying to impress her and keep her and say all the right things, right? So I think that's a little bit tricky.

Ozzie (: 04:37

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I'd be curious to hear about his background. also because he he says that he saw how hard his parents worked at raising him and his sister. So he never really ever had a thought that, ⁓ I want to teach my son how to play baseball. It never crossed his mind. And I think at this at this point he's he's vocalizing. I don't think I want kids. And I wonder how much of that is him it it is his truth.

Andrea (: 04:48

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah.

Ozzie (: 05:15

And how much of that is him still trying to please her and, you know, be the good boy?

Andrea (: 05:19

Yeah.

Absolutely. Because how quickly could that turn things if he's like, Yeah, I do want to have more kids. And she's like, Well, she said like physically that it's not even healthy for me to do that. I mean, she's fifty-three, fifty-three, fifty-four, fifty-four. Yeah. The ship has sailed.

Ozzie (: 05:34

Ship has sailed, baby.

You're done, girl. John wants kids ten years later, that they could that she would consider adoption or surrogacy. ⁓ but I think John was

Andrea (: 05:41

Yes. That's it. Next. All right.

Adoption. Yeah. I like that. And he was kind of

open to that. But again, let's think about that. Ten years down the road, she's sixty four and he's thirty seven. What? Like she's not gonna be adopting kids at sixty four years old with a thirty seven year old. It's just not gonna happen.

Ozzie (: 06:01

⁓ heck now.

Andrea (: 06:12

All right, next we have Derek and Pfeiffer. Okay, they're slightly growing on me. They were being very silly, very playful. And that's maybe why it was growing on me, just because I was like, it's nice to see them having fun. But can she really go deeper? Yeah. Did I get off?

Ozzie (: 06:24

Wait, hold on. Hold on. Was she growing on you because she was

holding a stick of potatoes?

Andrea (: 06:33

Yes, I like the stick of potatoes. It was fascinating. And there was somewhere, ⁓ I was in Washington recently and I saw a sign for the stick of potatoes. It's like slight it's like really thinly sliced potatoes on a stick. And I was like, wait, his is all gone. And she sells a full one. And that's very upsetting to me when people buy things and just don't eat it. I couldn't handle that. That's where my concentration was. I need to know. That's all right.

Ozzie (: 06:56

Anyway, sorry, I did a squirrel brain. I just I just wanted to know.

Andrea (: 07:02

Yeah, that's

why they're kind of growing on me. But they start to have the conversation about whether they're gonna move to Dallas or not, because she's in Ohio. He's in Dallas. I don't think he's moving to Ohio. He's got two kids. He's got a whole life. I love that she was like, I didn't even consider that you were gonna move to Ohio. I just knew that if this was gonna work, it's something I would need to come to you. And that would make more sense. I don't even know what her living situation is. My guess would be more that she's still living at home or with like her little roommate, and he's probably got, you know, a home in Dallas. So that makes more sense.

Ozzie (: 07:30

Yes.

And here's what I like that he said. I I'm a big Derek fan. I like that he said that he would introduce her to his kids' mom before he introduces him her to the kids, which I thought was so thoughtful, so classy, so yeah, class act. I'm kudos to you.

Andrea (: 07:33

But

Yes to make sure it's good. Classy. Yeah.

Ozzie (: 07:57

Kudos.

Andrea (: 07:57

Yep.

Kudos. Kudos. Nice job, Derek. You're but that's age too. Thirty-eight. Thirty-eight. Forty-three. But that's age too. Forty-three. You know, he's got the maturity of that. And she probably that probably didn't even cross her mind, would be my guess. You know, yeah. So, all right. That's all we've got to say about them, really. It's just that's a I don't know. Huge gap. You know there's gotta be two in there.

Ozzie (: 08:06

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Well, how many baby mamas does he have? I just want to know. Because he's got two two boys of very different yes. So how many how many moms

is he gonna introduce her to? I just need to know. But I think yeah. Do you get me every time? I just wanna keep going. I'll stop.

Andrea (: 08:30

I don't know. We need to know. All right. Look at you every time. Every time. I know. I know. All

right. All right. I'll kind I'll kind of give you a wink if I'm moving on. All right. We're moving on to Vanilla and Jorge. I I love this storyline. This is what's keeping me totally invested, is the storyline. So at this point.

Ozzie (: 08:54

It yeah. Mm-hmm.

Andrea (: 08:59

They are struggling with her celibacy. Right. So ⁓ they're kind of implying. Well, no, they're not implying. They showed, they cut to the middle of the night, three in the morning, where we hear them talking, making their noise, all that good stuff. And he basically says something about ⁓ I know you keep saying you're celibate or you want to be celibate, but what was that that you were just doing? And then she says, that was just oral intimacy.

So my question for you as a dating and coaching expert, Ozzy, and and on all of things sex too, I think you know a lot about that. Is oral intimacy considered sex? Is she already breaking her own rules with having oral intimacy? Do you think?

Ozzie (: 09:45

Well, anything that falls under the umbrella of intimacy is intimacy. I mean, sex is the act of intimacy. It's a it's it's an act, right? And oral sex, I mean you could call it what you want to call it, but you if you're giving your partner oral, you're having oral sex. Right?

Andrea (: 09:50

Intimacy is intimacy.

Mm, mm. Mm-hmm.

No.

Sex. Yes. Especially

if you are ejaculating. You I mean, there's that's it. That's it right there, right? And he also makes certain that we know that she climbed on top of him and she simulated having sex on him and she orgasmed. So with that, again, I mean, I I'm on board. It's confusing. I am on board with him on this.

Ozzie (: 10:12

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Confusing.

Andrea (: 10:34

She has been very specific about from the moment in the promise room about what her values are and her morals on having sex before marriage. So when you are gonna do everything there is to do, right up to that tip top spot of okay, maybe it just didn't put it in, I don't think that's being fair to him. I think she's, you know, having her cake and eat it too. I think is what she's doing, you know, orally.

Ozzie (: 10:56

Well, okay,

there's so many sides to this, right? I mean, one thing I teach my kids when when when you're with a partner, any partner, I don't care who it is, mostly a woman. And I'm saying we'll say one because I think it's important that women's no gets heard. And a woman says no, and you don't need to you don't need to fight it, and you don't need to quantify it, and you you respect it. Across the board, when a woman says no.

Andrea (: 11:00

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Yeah. Right?

Yes.

Ozzie (: 11:24

you just take it as a no. Even if she doesn't mean it and she does other things to you. It's a no is a no. I was so adamant about that with them. Cause I think it's so important because they there's there there oftentimes there are blurred lines, right? A lot of people say that what women say, you know, is not what they mean and what they mean is not what they say, right? Like d d there's a lot of confusion. I think a lot of confusing signals can come your way. And

Andrea (: 11:29

Yes. Yes.

Yes. She's blurring the line.

Mm-hmm.

Ozzie (: 11:54

I think it's important that regardless, if if she says no and then she changes her mind, you stick to the no. Right. So I think on on on the one hand, I would have really loved to have seen him just accept her no and maybe have a conversation with her in a way that's not him being frustrated, but him kind of going, Hey, I'm gonna respect your no. And we're not gonna do that right now. But I want you to know I'm so attracted to you. When you're ready, we're gonna get there. No, no, but I'm ready.

Andrea (: 12:01

Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Ozzie (: 12:23

No. I'm gonna respect the fact that you said you you you wanna be celibate and I'm gonna honor that. Instead of challenging her

Andrea (: 12:28

Mm-hmm. So you're saying he should

have done that earlier, like before the oral intimacy even began and she started to go down there. Is that where he should have been like, Hey, listen, this is not what you said you wanted to do. Let's just take a moment and like get her get in the right head space in the right head.

Ozzie (: 12:45

Well we don't really know

we don't really know what she was doing other than she climbed on top of him and she was simulating an orgasm. So if she's simulating an orgasm, yeah, you stop her, you take her off of you and you just say, I'm gonna respect you, right? On the other hand, speak to any man and they'll say how hard it is too, literally. ⁓ to s to not be not to stop right, like 'cause he's attracted to her, so you can't really deny the attraction. It's a

Andrea (: 12:56

Yes.

It is. Stop in the moment.

Yeah. Yes.

Ozzie (: 13:15

It's it's a complicated, it's a complicated line. And

Andrea (: 13:15

Very fine line. Yes. Yes.

Ozzie (: 13:20

her immaturity, right? Her immaturity, you know, shows a lot here where she's she's not meaning she's saying. And I think that's what he's challenging in hers, is, you know, well, are, you know, I'm you're confusing me. You're giving me weird signals, and I don't play that. Like I don't, I don't do that. Right.

Andrea (: 13:22

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And

I want, and I was really rooting for her to be strong in her convictions because she was so in, you know, like this is who I am. This is not what I'm gonna do. That's not gonna change things. She literally says, I'm not going to have sex until marriage. And if I never get married, I will never have sex again. And I wanted her to really stick to that and stick to her own guns on that, you know, and not make it so.

uncomfortable and tempting for him. I didn't like that she did that. I just wanted her to kind of be the adult and be the grown up and be like, hey, that's all we're gonna do tonight. I mean, yeah, that sucks. But she's not. She's taken it right up to yeah. Yeah.

Ozzie (: 14:20

But she's not. She's used to getting her way.

She's used to getting her way and she hasn't quite lived life to understand that you just you don't you just you don't do that. And I think but on the other hand, I really think Jorge should have should have i if if there if she says she wants to be celibate, that I think she he should have slept on the couch. He should have just been until you know she's ready to be intimate, she understands it. Like again.

Andrea (: 14:31

Yes.

Y you yeah. You don't do that.

Stopped it.

Mm-hmm. Communication. Yes, yes. And I really think they could have had that conversation beforehand, just saying, okay, you know, if we are going to sleep in the bed tonight and we are going to meet intimate, what does that look like for you? Where is the line? You know, what's your save word? How do we know where we want to stop and still respect your boundaries and mine and be fair to it all? I think they could have had that conversation ahead of time instead of it sounds like everything happened and now.

Ozzie (: 14:56

What do you expect? She's so young.

Andrea (: 15:25

There's this awkwardness amongst them, right?

Ozzie (: 15:28

Yeah, I wanna insert something here too. A man in his age I mean let's be let's tell the truth here. What does a man age sixty want from a young lady? Let's be real. Thank you. Thank you. So

Andrea (: 15:30

Please.

Sex. Yes. Yes. Well, I

mean, that's it. That he's attracted to her. He's not attractive. He he'll say I'm attracted to her. She's so ⁓ intellectual, you know, and that's very attractive to me. Okay, great. There's a lot of intellectual people out there. You want to have sex with her. And I question, does he even want to get married again?

Ozzie (: 15:47

Yeah.

Andrea (: 16:06

And so now you gotta think about if he never wants to get married again, then he just needs to write sex off because she's never going to have it until she's married. What is this relationship going to do? How is it going to serve him later down the road once the honeymoon phase is over? We're about to find out.

Ozzie (: 16:21

Well, this brings up a

very big topic that I think we brought up on Menopause Love Lounge and our other, ⁓ our other beautiful podcast that we love so much. ⁓ and it's the word boundaries. Boundaries, right? When you honor your core values, you have boundaries to protect your core values, correct? And so both clearly don't honor their values, nor do they stick to their boundaries.

Andrea (: 16:29

Podcast. Yes, we love it.

Yes. Boundaries. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Ozzie (: 16:50

And of course they're gonna get frustrated because I think there's unsaid expectations from both of them. She expects him to just do whatever she wants to do on him until right? Until that endpoint. And he wants to have sex with her. man.

Andrea (: 16:50

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yes. Yes. It's a yeah. It's I'm sure

that's why they brought her on not specifically, but that was a good added element to her, you know, her story because that is such a huge thing in relationships. And to put that together with somebody who's 60, it would be interesting. I almost wish they had one of those remember those books, Choose Your Own Adventure and you could get to a certain point. Yeah.

Ozzie (: 17:30

My favorite.

Andrea (: 17:32

And you can decide, am I going to go this way or this way? It would be very interesting if we'd gotten to a point of choose your own adventure where we could see how it would have played out with Justin in this very similar scenario. Would that, yes. Would she, because she wasn't as attracted to him too. So that would have allowed her to, you know, really respect her own boundaries a little bit more. ⁓ but it would have been interesting to see how far that would have gone or if he would have pushed it, or I don't think he would have. I just don't think he'd he'd be on the he'd be on the catch.

Ozzie (: 17:34

Yeah. Yeah.

Right.

Andrea. Andrea, let's consider

this the source. She's twenty seven. She likes attention. She needs a daddy or a zaddy. And she needs she needs like it I don't think it would have made a difference unless she had a guy who's really strong in his boundaries and said, I adore you, but no, I'm gonna respect you. And I'm gonna respect me too. Right? It's a both and it's both.

Andrea (: 18:02

Yeah. Yes. Shot it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think Justin

would have more likely done that. I feel like, just from what we learned about him. But and I don't know I don't know what his age was either, so that might have taken anything.

Ozzie (: 18:28

No, you you flaunt

you flaunt that you flaunt that that thing on top of your thing, you know? Put two and two together, girl. I don't know how how a guy would just have that that ⁓ discipline to just be like, all right, off of me, I can't. There might be some guys out there and come after me if you if if if you are and feel free to challenge me on this. But I would say just just in in in for the sake of this, I don't I think

Andrea (: 18:31

Booty.

⁓

Yeah.

Ozzie (: 18:56

I think she like the attention. She wants to be she wants to be wanted, right? What woman doesn't. And that's how she's you know she's she's she's very attracted to him. But yeah. But yeah, but let's move on because I think more things happen here. Wow.

Andrea (: 18:58

Mm. Mm-hmm. We all do. And she's very into Mm-hmm.

Yes. Okay.

All right. Here we go.

Okay, so we are on to Vanessa and Logan. Their communication is off. So they are out having dinner, and it just feels like this constant push and pull with them. They're just not seeming to be on the same page. They're not really getting each other's jokes. At one point, he, you know, she's kind of on him about the relationship and and showing more that she's he's into her. And he even says at one point, hey,

I don't know if you're the one. And I that took me aback a little bit because I was like, huh, is that something he should be saying out loud to her at the moment? Or is that something he should be saying to his body? He's like, I don't know if she's the one, but I want to find out. I don't know. Would that have bothered you? A man saying, Hey, I don't know if you're the one at this point. Yeah, it is honest. It's realistic.

Ozzie (: 19:58

No, because it's it's honest. I mean it's it's so honest. Like you don't like

and by the way, this whole notion of the one, I could do a whole episode on it. No, just no. There isn't the one, you know, the only one that you're always seeking is you I know sounds cliche cliche. Cliche? Wow. ⁓ cliche. I think that and what I teach.

Andrea (: 20:10

Yes.

Yes.

Cliche.

Ozzie (: 20:26

The one you're looking for is looking right back at you in the mirror. And the reason why we think we're looking for the one is because we are doing everything and anything to avoid that connection with self. And therefore, that's where our insecurities start to crack through and and we start to choose from the place of insecurity rather than a place of security. So

Andrea (: 20:30

Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Ozzie (: 20:49

I think this I think it's very honest and I think it's true and I think that he's right. He's not he doesn't know if he's the one. 'Cause he's not.

Andrea (: 20:58

Yes.

Yes. You get a for that.

Ozzie (: 21:05

I'll be here all night.

Andrea (: 21:08

okay. ⁓ mm, yes.

Ozzie (: 21:08

But but Andrea, but Andrea,

you're so correct in saying there's so their communication is so off. Communication one one. When you're first getting to know someone, listen. Listen more than you speak. Listen more than you speak.

Andrea (: 21:18

Yes.

Listen.

Mm-hmm. That is

correct. Yes. Totally agree. I love that. Yeah. I think she's just too anxious, Annie, too. She's just like, tell me you want me. Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me. You need to be with me. You don't want you're so attracted to me. You want to have sex with me. She just wants it all so bad. And I hate to say it, but like if we probably went back and really delved deep into her four failed engagements, there's a pattern there. There's a pattern, you know.

Ozzie (: 21:55

Well, there's a pattern of her, right? She's got an insecure in most of her dynamics because she doesn't she has not experienced a trustful relationship with herself or anyone else. But Logan also doesn't have the maturity to make a woman feel safe and secure. So it has to be real there, right? So that feeds into that dynamic of that push and pull, right? You you sense that push and pull because both have this immaturity that hasn't really developed yet.

Andrea (: 21:55

So it kind of

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yes. Yes.

Right.

Ozzie (: 22:23

Where they trust each other, and until they start to trust each other, you we're gonna see this banter, we're gonna see this dynamic kind of feel off because they're testing one another.

Andrea (: 22:23

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, absolutely. Yes, ma'am. All right, up next we have Leah and Chris, who are also not on the same page. So this is great. We're segueing right into this one. She keeps pushing. ⁓ God. So this is where they come back from their brunch with everybody. And you know, then we are gonna find out, you know, they're supposed to meet families here coming soon. But he comes in from this brunch and he's like, I need a nap, girl. And she is like, Wow.

Ozzie (: 22:45

Train wreck.

Andrea (: 23:03

We've been the way I took it, we've been partying all night, ma'am. What do you mean you're gonna nap? Let's keep the party going until she says, We just had brunch. I'm like, so it is nap 30. You're right. Brunch leads you to a nap on a Sunday afternoon. So it's perfect. But what really is underlying here is he needs a moment. He needs to go.

Ozzie (: 23:12

Yeah.

Andrea (: 23:27

Take a nap and just be away from her for a moment. And he says, I'm used to being alone a lot. I'm not used to somebody wanting to be with me 247. And her response to that is, How are we gonna nap when it's so bright out? And I was like, We, you know, now she's invited him for the nap. And she is just trying to steer in every direction. I got, you know, he's like, Yeah, it's beautiful outside. And she's like, How about we just go sit and have drinks on the patio? I mean, she does not want him to take a moment from her.

And this is where I really feel like, ⁓ you two, like he's just in it just to be in it. And she is wanting, like, she's wanting him and she is pushing, pushing, pushing. And I didn't like it. God, if I ever looked that way years ago. And what I try to tell the listeners, it's crazy when you see you actually see that. And I love that I acknowledge that. And I'm like, ek, that is such an ick, right? ⁓ I don't like it. I I'm sure we've all done it. So

Ozzie (: 24:22

Yeah.

Yeah,

well and you see another dynamic of insecurities on both ends, right? He doesn't know how to make a woman feel secure and she doesn't know how to feel secure. So perfect match, right? Opposites attract. And I think you see him do everything he can to try to set up this this distance between them and really want autonomy and wants his freedom and he really sets it up and he starts telling her about I think he was talking about his dad that's been sick and and and

Andrea (: 24:26

Yeah.

Mm. Not at all.

Yeah. Yay.

Yes.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Ozzie (: 24:54

Then we starts talking about heavy stuff about his dad and ⁓ that, you know, it just got dark. But then the whole nap thing, he wants want to take a shower and take a nap. And instead of saying, instead of just being honest, again, honesty goes a long way to being honest with her and just just saying, you know, I I just need some time to myself. Do you can I just have 10 minutes and then I'll be back and I'll spend the rest of the afternoon with you, right? Just to kind of give her that.

Andrea (: 25:01

To Hark.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I need some time. Yeah.

Yes.

Ozzie (: 25:23

He doesn't know to do that. So he just shuts down. Right? He just shuts down.

Andrea (: 25:23

Yes. He doesn't. I know. And then in in yeah. And then instead she starts throwing all of these chaser digs at him, like kind of like, ⁓ well, fine. If you don't want to be with me, and are you really going to leave me right now? And she's being so passive aggressive. And you're just like, girl, just let him go, take a shower, have a nap. He mentioned something about the gym. Work yourself in there and be like, hey, I'd love to go to the gym with you.

Ozzie (: 25:40

All right.

Andrea (: 25:50

After your nap, that might be something fun. Great. But at least he's getting his time.

Ozzie (: 25:52

my god. my God. If my guy

if if your guy told you he had to go take a nap, take a shower, what would you say?

Andrea (: 25:59

⁓ God, I would love that though, for him to go take his time. I would be like, okay, because you know what? That gives me time. Cause I do a lot of stuff on my phone with the podcast and everything. And I'm, you know, posting and stuff. So I'm on my phone a lot. And I really try to be attentive and present in the moment when I'm with my guys. So my phone's aside. So for me, if he's like, I want to go take a shower and a nap, I'm like, hallelujah. That's like a good hour at least that I can just.

Ozzie (: 26:03

Right?

Andrea (: 26:28

play and do my own thing that I want to do right now or watch something I want to watch. She needs to take that. Hm. Go ahead.

Ozzie (: 26:31

Yeah. But isn't it

Yeah.

Isn't that interesting how some people, because I don't think it's only women. I think men do it too. I think some people just have such a hard time being in the presence of themselves and and trusting that the other person that their partner who needs a break really needs a break. I think it's, you know, we speak a lot about that in in Menopause Love Land as well. We talk about the, you know, we have a few, ⁓

Andrea (: 26:43

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Yeah.

Ozzie (: 27:04

hosts that sleep separately than their partners. They live separately than their partners. And and we speak a lot about that and how in midlife, you know, we get to a point where where that becomes something we really, we really appreciate. We appreciate our time to ourselves. We appreciate the the ability to sleep where we value sleep and we value ⁓ the relationship. And I think I think again, this it's just this just speaks to immaturity and and ⁓ insecurity.

Andrea (: 27:07

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

It

it does. And I was going to add to that and say, yeah, that's about, you know, what we talk about with being in midlife and where you are in your life, that you just you're okay with yourself and you are grateful for that time alone. But I will say she's 41 years old. So she is kind of in that midlife range. And you would expect this more from him than I would from her. But again, that just speaks to the fact he's not that into her. That's where this comes from. If he was.

I think he would be a little bit more like like just different in how he was saying that to her. ⁓ I think it would just be different. But I also want to add that they've got nothing else going on but this right now. Like I don't think they're actually working. They're just in this space together. And so, you know, you're kind of like, well, yeah, shouldn't we be getting to know each other and do everything together that we possibly can? But it's just too much. It's he's not into her. That's my total take on that.

Ozzie (: 28:28

He is not,

and that's exactly how I felt leaving that episode where it was like, girl, he's just not that into you. And he he might just be if you let him, if you, if you start to miss him, right? Like if you give him that space, let him miss you, let him, let him kind of feel the the the absence of you for a moment, and they come right back.

Andrea (: 28:33

Mm-hmm. Just recognize

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Ozzie (: 28:52

They come bouncing back. How many times have you dated people who

Andrea (: 28:52

Yes, they come back.

Ozzie (: 28:54

you've given them space and all of a sudden you hear from them weeks later and and they they realize that you haven't been around, you know? Yeah.

Andrea (: 29:01

Yes, yes, absolutely. I

totally agree with that. Yeah, well, that's it for them. All right. I'm over it too. So we're heading back to Vanessa and Logan because then they cut to them actually being intimate in the bedroom. Now we're not actually seeing this, but we are hearing all about it. It's like a dirty little sound bite. And you know, it's it's interesting because she starts kind of coaching him.

Ozzie (: 29:07

I'm over I'm over it.

Oop oop hoop.

Andrea (: 29:31

Lieutenant Vanessa's at it again. And she's coaching him in the bedroom and telling him that he just needs to slow down. And she basically implied that, you know, he, of course, orgasmed and she was like not even there. And he's like, my God, I'm sorry. It's been a long time. It's been a really long time. And I thought, again, is that an age difference thing? You know? ⁓ and I don't know, is he? It's gotta be a little bit intimidating for a 29-year-old to be with a 49-year-old.

And as and that could be the reason for the ⁓ you know early ejaculation, we could call it. ⁓ so I I don't know. I don't know. What is the deal going on there? Would you say something like that? I don't know if I would.

Ozzie (: 30:04

Ha

Yeah. I was a little curious. I was like, hmm, because there's

that novelty of being with an older woman, but then there's that that reality when reality hits and you're like, you know, you get so excited about that you you kind of talk yourself out of an erection. I don't know. I don't know what's going on for him. I was kind of wondering the same if is he really into her or is he into the idea of her? And that's the part that I was I was kind of sitting with and and and wondering. But then then they

Andrea (: 30:20

Yes.

Yes. Yeah.

I know, yes.

Ozzie (: 30:39

then apparently that things were working and then the next morning it seemed like something completely different, right?

Andrea (: 30:42

They were great. Yeah.

And they're like, we're definitely out of the friend zone. And that's all good. Although I would say when he responded with, Well, I haven't had it in really long time, I probably would have not said that. I would have probably then said, Well, like, you know, he could have used that to go, I'm so excited to be with you. And, you know, I haven't been with a woman like you. And, you know, just be like a little bit more vulnerable. I am.

a little intimidated with an older beautiful woman like this or something, you know, could have helped instead of like, well, I haven't had it in a while, girl. So it's gonna be quick. Twenty nine. Yeah, that wasn't happening. So yeah. So they're all good. They are they are moving forward. Yeah.

Ozzie (: 31:17

Yeah, but Andrea, come on. He's he's yeah. Yeah.

Plus

plus we already know that he is he is just kind of just his communication is just so strange. Like he just blurts things out that half the time I don't think he thinks about what he says. He just says them. And you're like sho whether it's for shock value or it's just the way he is. I mean, I again I don't know. I don't really know these people. I just know what I see and it's just it's it's cringe.

Andrea (: 31:41

Mm-hmm.

He does.

Yeah.

Well, we saw it a couple of

times with his moments with the other couples and where, you know, with they were talking about the kiss that her and Chris had and and he was like, I'm sure there was some tongue in there, you know, like he just comes out with this stuff. Or calling her Lieutenant Vanessa. They were all like, Whoa, who's that?

Ozzie (: 32:13

You know

what's funny, my my son was just telling me, I was like, Hey, how's how are things going with this girl that he was into? And he's like, I don't know, or I think we're done because I she didn't like what I s the way I was saying things to her. I'm like, What do you mean? I said, What did you say to her? He said, I said, What what's up, pimp? I'm like, Why would you say that to a girl you're interested in? He's like, I don't know, I call everybody pimp. I'm like, yeah, not a girl you're courting.

Andrea (: 32:18

Mm-hmm.

What did he say?

Pimp. Well

Ozzie (: 32:42

And he's like it I'm like, what did she say to you? She he's he said, she said that was that I was cringy. I was like, Yeah, that's cringy. I was like, you just missed out on anyway. So yeah, some some people just they don't think about what they say. Anyway. I think I overthink. I'm very I try to I'm first of all I can't hide my truth on my face.

Andrea (: 32:42

Not a girl you're recording.

⁓ yeah. Yeah. See, live and learn. We won't do that again.

They don't. They don't. That's funny.

Ozzie (: 33:07

Everyone knows if when I'm when I'm annoyed, when I'm pissed, when I'm judging, when whatever I am, my face reads. You've seen it. And I can't help it. And I also can't help but tell the truth because I I I don't want to be someone who's holding back how I feel and and what I think. And so I I have to work really hard before I say something and to whom, right? Like I'm very discerning about who I say what to in what way. Cause I know people are certain people are sensitive. I know my sister is super sensitive.

Andrea (: 33:07

Yeah.

I've seen it. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes.

Ozzie (: 33:36

And and if I tell her the truth about something, it it it could come anyway, so we're digressing. But I I I I think that's just how he is and we're gonna leave it there. Moving on.

Andrea (: 33:40

Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Moving on.

Okay, so we have touch base on all the couples that are in this episode this time. So ⁓ now we're just gonna add in a few little nuggets of good stuff here. ⁓ so we we go back to Vanilla and Jorge at this point, right? And you know, they're kind of talking about their ins they're talking about an incident that happened. And you can tell by their demeanor, by the looks on the face, by the fact that she's sitting over here and he's sitting over there.

This is not a good conversation. This is beyond the celibacy conversation. Right. And so, ⁓ so they start talking about like his protection of her. And then they also talk about the immaturity of her about the intercourse and not wanting to have it, but that she'll still do other things. So this is all kind of coming out within this one conversation to a point where she's like, Hey, I'm not a dude that you can control.

Ozzie (: 34:25

Yeah.

Andrea (: 34:47

Right. And she still talks about not having sex until marriage. And, you know, then he says, ⁓ he says to her, the power of life and death is in the tongue. So you need to be careful of what you say. And I was like, whoo boy, that was a powerful statement right there that he said, and so true.

⁓ and listening to him speak, I mean, and she she was kept interjecting, not really letting him say it, you know, a whole lot. And he'd have to be like, Can you let me speak? He's an attorney too, right? We need to keep that in mind. He knows how to get a point across. But I was like, Sh, all right. Like you are he was schooling her right then, I thought. What'd you think?

Ozzie (: 35:34

Well, here's

the thing. From my perspective and my when I work with couples, one of the things that I often remind them is the importance of being mindful about not entering into a a parent child dynamic. We see this a lot in relationships. It crossed over into a parent child d dynamic because now he's lecturing her. Now he's right. Like now it's coming into

Andrea (: 35:51

Mm. Is that what we're dealing with here? A parent child dynamic.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yes.

Ozzie (: 36:04

into the and she's feeling like a helpless little girl who's afraid and and is you know gotten in trouble and he is now reprimanding or, you know, giving her disciplining her kind of it it again, ick, right? Like that's like it's that's I I I I appreciate your wisdom. And he's correct in what he said. However, if this is someone you're interested in

Andrea (: 36:06

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Ick it happening quick too. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Ozzie (: 36:34

you gotta know, right? Like that's not that's not a dynamic that's not a dynamic you wanna enter into. ⁓ but they also mentioned s an incident that happened. I think you were gonna point to that, right? Next.

Andrea (: 36:34

Yeah. Read your read the room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, go for it. Go for it. You want to check matter? Mm.

Ozzie (: 36:49

They

were men s I guess something happened the night before too. So I get coupled with with this ority like discomfort, this this weirdness that they had between them about, you know, her mixed messages, sick mixed signals, is this thing that happened that we don't get a lot of information on, but apparently he stepped up to protect her with someone that approached them. And again, we don't really know exactly what happened, which is great editing because it leaves us wanting to know well.

Andrea (: 37:02

Mm-hmm.

No.

Yes.

Yes.

Ozzie (: 37:18

What happened? Because she was very upset about it. And again, she's insecure already. She's already feeling like she did something wrong. She's or however she's feeling. And she's not trusting and she doesn't know him. Right. I think if a man's

Andrea (: 37:19

What happened?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. But she just to

clarify, she's upset about his reaction to the incident. Right. Yeah. Okay, go on.

Ozzie (: 37:38

Yeah. Because

she doesn't trust sh she doesn't know him, doesn't trust him, doesn't really, you know, she doesn't again, he's also coming from a different, again, here's where the age thing comes in. He's from a different generation. And that generation, their job was to you step up, you protect, you provide, protect, and procreate. That is your job. As a man, you're there to protect. And she's coming from an era of

Andrea (: 37:54

Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Ozzie (: 38:06

I'm a woman. I could do ever I'm independent. I could do whatever I want. I don't need you to help me. I don't need you to protect me. Right? So again, this is where you start to see that big, big riff between two generations. I think I think there's three generation. No, how many generations between them?

Andrea (: 38:10

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Regenerate. ⁓

thirty three di your age difference? Probably two. Yeah.

Ozzie (: 38:28

Yeah, I mean he's he's

he's Gen is he Gen X or is he more

Is he like the I don't know. Anyway, couple generations older than her and ⁓ and it shows. It shows, right?

Andrea (: 38:37

I don't even know.

Yeah.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know, I was going to ask you that. And yeah, from the image that I got, a little bit of the story, somebody kind of following him and he felt like he was invading in their space. And he kind of stepped up to him. And, you know, he felt like he was protecting her. Would you would you see it that way? Would you have reacted the way she did about it? Or would you see it as, hmm, that's my man, like protecting me. He wanted to make sure I was good.

Ozzie (: 39:15

I would love it. I think it's hot. And again, we don't know exactly what happened and how it was done. I mean, did he like beat the like if someone beat someone in front of me, I I not down for that. If he did I did he pull a gun out at at someone, don't know if I'm down with that. But if you're coming from that generation of I'm gonna protect someone, you know, and later down the road we hear the actual explanation. So we're gonna reserve that.

Andrea (: 39:17

Yes, yes.

Mm-hmm.

Not down for that. Yeah.

Ozzie (: 39:45

I think there's more he puts more context to exactly what happened. And so we understand a little bit more of why that you know, why he has to watch watch his back and then also watches woman's back, you know, so it it it made sense. But again, her immaturity, her her lack of trust in him and herself in this, and and I think she just she she was looking for an out at that point.

Andrea (: 39:45

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah. I agree.

I agree. I'm very much I would be the same too. I'm very big on feeling safe and protected by my person. And I love the little chivalrous things of moving me on the inside of the sidewalk. I love the hand on the small of my back as we're, you know, going through an area or the, you know, holding me my hand behind you. Don't no man left behind. And, you know, so I would respect that. But again, we don't know the whole situation of what actually transpired. So that could change my mind.

So that'll be interesting to talk about later. So at this point, after they have this whole conversation, which did not go well on both of those terms about the celibacy and about ⁓ the incident, because he's telling her, hey, you need to figure out what you want, what you don't want. ⁓ she's just like, you know, okay, so I guess we're good. And he's like, Well, what does good mean? And she's like, I guess we're good to go our separate ways. And she was like done and out. And I was like, wow.

And then she got up and walked out and, you know, started taking off her microphone and everything. And then they cut to her on the sidebar very emotionally upset about the situation because she does care about him a lot. ⁓ I think she jumped ship a little quick on that. I think again, that shows her immaturity. Like, hey, let's let's keep continue to talk this through and and see what happens. So they were done. They were done. Yes. Tapped out. What

Ozzie (: 41:20

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. She tapped out. Bye.

Andrea (: 41:38

Bye. So then we show them meeting up with the friends again. And it's very everybody's like, woo, we're missing one couple, which is obviously Jorge and Vanelle. So ⁓ yeah, they just kind of talk amongst themselves, say what's going on, you know, everybody's having little chats and everything. And then ⁓ in enters Nick and ⁓ Natalie to, you know, kind of catch everybody up on what's going on, with what happened with Vanel and Jorge, where everybody else is at.

And then they drop the little bomb that they are going to be meeting, ooh, let me do my wait. They drop the bomb that's going to be.

Ozzie (: 42:11

Dum dum dum

Andrea (: 42:22

Meet the parents and the families and all that good stuff, right? And so everybody's like, you know, because to say kind of what Teresa keeps saying, they are in a bubble right now. They don't have to answer to anybody but themselves, you know? So it will be very interesting. They all kind of are taken aback by it. They're very like, you know, good and bad, like, yay, I get to see my family or my friends, but what is this gonna look like? Right. And and then

Ozzie (: 42:23

⁓

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Andrea (: 42:51

They cut to Vanessa and Logan pretty quick talking about it. And she starts in again with, like, are you excited to meet my or are you excited to have me meet your friends or family? And he kind of being realistic again says, you know, I'm just, you know, I've never really brought anybody home. I've I've never brought a girl home and you know, unless it's somebody that I'm really truly invested in into. And then she's like, So you're not truly invested in into me? Just like.

Ozzie (: 43:21

Mm-hmm.

Andrea (: 43:22

Girl, again, I would love to know the time frame of this. What are we at? A week? A week. Would you ever meet a guy or girl's parents after a week? Never. Never. You just wouldn't. No. So the fact that she's so like worked up about it instead of again being mature and being like, that totally makes sense. You know? So hopefully they understand, you know, that we're not getting married right now. She did say that. We're just kind of, you know, hanging out, but there is intention there. So.

Ozzie (: 43:24

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

No,

Mm-hmm.

Andrea (: 43:53

hard when these shows move so quickly through, you know, like to do that kind of stuff. It puts a lot of extra pressure on that.

Ozzie (: 43:59

Well, it brings

it, you know, it's good TV, right? It it sucks the the viewer in and makes him want to see the next and the next and the next and the next. It keeps viewership and you know, it it's brilliant. Keeps me going.

Andrea (: 44:08

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

It is. I know. It keeps us interested.

Well, and it also it ended with John kind of snickering at them because of the conversation they had. And then Teresa is like, you know, glad you think that's funny. And he's like, I didn't what you know, and she and he's like, What do you mean? And she couldn't even answer because we know it's not any it doesn't have anything to do with that. It's about the fact that now she is going to have to introduce him to the kids, which is what she's most worried about. Right. So she kind of stormed off.

Ozzie (: 44:28

Yeah.

Andrea (: 44:42

He did go after her. That was great and beautiful. And and they'll talk it through. But that's kind of where it ended, like her saying, We are in this bubble. This is not reality. My reality are my children. So and then they brought in this heavy music of like, Are they done? You know, is really heavy.

Ozzie (: 44:55

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

There's also some weird tension between the group, right? Like there was something with Pfeiffer and i i it it the the whole thing was was Chris and you know, once you're out of that bubble, then things start to right seep in. Yeah.

Andrea (: 45:08

Mm.

Just out of that bubble.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So yeah, very interesting how it all turned out.

All right, guys, that wraps up our episode five recap of Age of Attraction. And honestly, this episode proved that attraction is the easy part. They got that down. But real compatibility, that is a whole different story. So between the pressure around intimacy, the passive-aggressive moments, the emotional disconnects, and the couples trying to force relationships that we know just aren't fitting. We see it. We see it. There's been a lot to unpack here.

But we want to hear from you. What relationship behavior in this episode stood out as the biggest red flag for you? Do you have one that stood out for you as the biggest red flag in this episode? There's so many. There's so many. It's just the maturity layered on top of immaturity. And I think that's what we're mostly seeing. And they need to acknowledge that, right? I guess.

Ozzie (: 46:02

So many.

Yeah. You know, again,

performative and you just kind of you wonder how much of it is truth, how much of it is not. It's just at least that's what I wonder. I don't know if other viewers think the same. I'm always I always kind of look at it going, hmm, interesting. Like I'm I'm I'm entertained, but I'm also weary of of some of the stuff. But yeah, lots of red flags and more juice to come and I cannot wait to see what happens with the families.

Andrea (: 46:23

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, we don't know what it really is.

Yeah, yeah.

I know it's gonna be so good. So make sure you're staying on top of it. We have episodes one through four recap out now. You can find any of those at from dot misses dot the number two dot Ms. You can also chat up Ozzie if you like what she's got to say as a dating coach and and somebody that helps with relationships. you can check her out at I am Ozzy Osbourne.

And don't forget to watch these full videos of our reactions because this is what's really fun when you see our faces when we talk about this stuff. And don't forget to like, follow, and subscribe. All right, you guys, that's it for us. I'm Andrea Knoche here with Ozzy. We will see you next time for episode six recap of Age of Attraction. Signing off, Lieutenant Andrea. Bye.

Ozzie (: 47:24

Signing up, Lieutenant. Bye.